


daze

by sorano (zostir)



Series: daze [1]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Awkward Crush, Crushes, Falling In Love, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Bullying, M/M, Non-Realistic Setting, Reconciliation, Self-Indulgent, Sibling Bonding, i am regretful lmao, really i wrote this for me, riku i love you and i'm sorry, riku ignores tenn: the fic, tenn needs a rest, thank you izumi iori for existing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 05:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zostir/pseuds/sorano
Summary: Life has always been easy on Tenn. He is blessed with good grades, good looks, a wonderful voice and, of course, an amazing twin brother. He can't ask for more.But now, he has to face two troublesome problems. On the one hand, Riku suddenly grew cold to him while getting closer to his new best friend, Izumi Iori. On the other hand, this Izumi boy is getting under his skin - and Tenn doesn't know if he likes him or if he's just jealous.After all, stealing your brother's best friend won't help you patching things up with him, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> do i really need to explain why i wrote this and posted it today? this ship is actually my otp (not that i understand why actually) and writing about twins' bonding will always be a fave of mine (especially the nanase twins hhhh my precious babies). i am still ashamed about myself and i'd like to thank lai for putting up with me and editing this fic (you helped a lot omg) (everyone please thank her for turning this mess into something readable).
> 
> now i have no idea when i will update this, in february maybe??? in the worst case in april. i have time, yeah - for studying. i still think it was a bad idea of mine bc i can't write multi chapters and i don't know how to english anymore. no really i can't even properly speak in my own language?? it's hard getting dumber.............. 
> 
> well thank you for giving this v self-indulgent and v cathartic a chance!! please let me know what you think of it im just too insecure for my own good

"I'm home. Riku, are you here?"

No answer. Tenn furrows his brow. Riku's shoes and coat hang in the entrance, which means his brother already came home. Maybe he didn't hear him. Or maybe he doesn't _want_ to hear him. Tenn doesn't know.

_Don't worry about it, Tenn._

After hooking his jacket up to the coat rail and putting slippers on, he goes into the hallway and heads for the kitchen. While he waits for the water to boil, he keeps his ears open, but the house is silent. He only hears the bubbling of water coming from the kettle.

He gets a tray ready and climbs the stairs. The Nanase house isn't vast: there are only two rooms upstairs, one for their parents and another one for the twins. The corridor's wooden floor is a bit worn out, but clean. Two doors face each other. Tenn leans his elbow on the door handle to the right one and pushes the door with his back.

He's not surprised to see Riku sitting at his desk. His brother was wearing headphones, but he's not listening to anything: the wire hangs loose. His desk lamp is switched on. He holds a mechanical pencil and swings it back and forth, and he wears the red glasses he uses when his eyes tire. On his desk, several books lie open.

There's no doubt he heard Tenn entering the room, but Riku doesn't appear to notice him, not even when Tenn drops off the tray on his desk, a bit brutally. The two bowls clink when they collide with each other. Tenn seizes one of them and leaves it next to Riku. At that very moment, his brother turns over and raises his eyes in his direction.

"Welcome home, Tenn-nii." His twin’s tone is neutral, but Tenn tries his best not to think about it.

They're nineteen now, so of course, they can't be as close as they used to. If Riku greeted him by jumping into his arms and hugging him, it would be concerning, _right?_

Tenn's eyes slide towards the inhaler on top of the desk, within easy reach.

"I'm home. How was your day, Riku?"

Every Tuesday, Riku finishes his lessons by 11. He comes home earlier and studies in their room. It allows him to rest in the late afternoon - or at least it leaves him enough time to review his lessons. Meanwhile, Tenn's last lesson ends at 3, still early. Considering, their club doesn't hold any activity on Tuesdays. Tenn thinks their current student life is, in fact, more enjoyable than their high school years.

Riku seems annoyed at the question. He looks away, fingers drumming on his desk.

"Hm, not that bad." His brother doesn't ask about Tenn’s day. It's been months since the last time he did - still both they knew that Tenn will reciprocate.

"Good. My day was great, too." Tenn wants to carry on their little chat. Instead, he asks: "You have work to do, don't you? I'll leave you alone. Please drink this tea while it's hot, I added honey to it."

Riku agrees with a nod of his head. Then, he focuses on his notebook.

Tenn thinks he talks too much.

He sits at his own desk, casting a last glance at his brother - who ignores him. He takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at his messages. He doesn't get a lot of them, and Gaku says it's not surprising considering his disposition. It appears that nobody wants to get close to him. Well, it's true that Tenn doesn't have friends at uni. But when he asked Gaku why _he_ spends time with him, Gaku said nothing.

Incidentally, Gaku sent a picture in their group chat, with a " _This is so you_ " as a caption. The pic is of a white cat, whose hair had light pink shades, a hue that is close to Tenn's own hair. The cat's sullen face doesn't alter his charm at all; if anything, his sour expression strengthens his grace. Gaku isn't exactly wrong to compare the cat to Tenn, even Ryuu agrees. Tenn sends " _very funny_ " before putting his phone down. He picks his diary up and checks his list of tasks. He must complete a group assignment for next week, but he's still on time so it's not urgent. Still, he borrowed a book for this work and decided to take a few notes, so that he can return it back tomorrow.

The sun was setting when Tenn closed his book.

Riku didn't move from his desk. Tenn turns his head in his brother's direction, he realizes the other is still studying. His headphones are now connected to his phone, and his head swings to the rhythm of his music. Tenn wonders if all he did was work or if he ever took a break occasionally. He hopes it's the latter.

Tenn stretches out before glancing at his phone. His group chat, named TRIGGER (Gaku chose the name, and of course, Tenn criticized it, but he still agreed to use it because it's a nice name), displays a notification, and Tenn reads the two messages he missed.

_> Gaku: btw, you're going for dinner tomorrow, right?_

_> Ryuu: [sticker of a rabbit, thumbs up]_

Ryuu’s choice of stickers were, as usual, questionable. But knowing that those rabbits are his little brothers' favourites. It makes Tenn smile.

_> Tenn: your treat?_

To be honest, Tenn doesn't care at all if he has to pay, because he will say yes. He merely likes to annoy Gaku who just opened his own soba shop. He knows money is now a sensitive subject for the other.

_> Gaku: I changed my mind_

_> Gaku: Tenn, you're not invited anymore_

_> Gaku: Ryuu, you can eat for free if you want_

Tenn starts typing a teasing message, but Ryuu's answer cuts him off.

_> Ryuu: I can pay for my meal, Gaku_

Tenn sighs. Sometimes, his friends tire him.

_> Tenn: I'm coming anyway_

_> Gaku: Okay_

_> Gaku: Guess I have no choice but to put up with your company_

_> Gaku: You should bring Riku with you_

_> Gaku: It's been a while and he's more fun than you_

Tenn doesn't answer right away. His finger hangs over the keyboard screen. He knows Gaku's invitation is honest: it seems that his twin is more pleasant than him, and that, when Riku is with him, Tenn becomes "tolerable". Tenn doesn't find the joke funny, but it's true that Riku quickly got along with his friends. It's no surprise, who wouldn't want to be friends with Riku?

After Ryuu says he misses Riku and wants to see him soon, Tenn types his answer: __He won't come, he's always busy.__

Hitting the send button, he turns over and calls: "Riku?"

"Hm?" Riku's back faces him.

"Are you free tomorrow evening?"

Riku doesn't answer straight away. He hesitates, "I'm taking Iori out, tomorrow night."

"Okay, no problem." Tenn expected it. But he's still disappointed.

He checks his new messages.

_> Ryuu: It's true Riku has a lot a friends_

_> Ryuu: And he studies a lot_

_> Ryuu: How admirable!_

_> Gaku: He should still go out from time to time_

_> Gaku: Otherwise he will end up as pale as Tenn_

Tenn rolls his eyes.

_> Tenn: He's actually going out with Izumi_

_> Gaku: Oh_

_> Gaku: I see_

_> Ryuu: The two of them spend a lot of time together, don't they?_

_> Ryuu: They're really best friends_

_> Gaku: Yeah, they're cute together_

Tenn puts his phone down. Thinking about it makes him a bit sick to the stomach.

He stands, "Riku, I'm going to make dinner."

Riku nods, but he doesn't point out to him that it's still too early for dinner. Tenn gets his bowl back and observes with relief that Riku drank all of his tea.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

On Wednesday mornings, Tenn cleans their room. He got into this habit when he was a teenager in order to take a weight off his mom, as she was too busy with her work. Riku wanted to help too, but Tenn forbade him. It was out of the question that his younger brother, with his weak lungs, did any _dusting_ in their room. Tenn does it by himself. Riku soon gave up and lets him clean without saying a word.

According to Gaku, Tenn's a bit obsessive about it - and he's not wrong, he's a bit too diligent. He dusts the furniture every day, and on Wednesdays, he moves them around, dusting behind them. He never admitted it out loud, but housework relaxes him. He likes cleaning, likes the feeling of being useful to his brother. When he was younger, all he could do was entertain him or make sure nobody bothered him at school. He used to feel helpless. Now, cleaning the room makes him feel good. He won't stop anytime soon.

The twins' bedroom is the bigger of the two rooms in the house, but it's still a bit cramped. Their beds are pressed on both sides of the window and the desks, though small, block the sliding door of the closets. They can still reach what they want with difficulty. Their parents bought tagged boxes for stuff they need the most and put them on several shelves. Riku owns a lot of books, but they belong to the bookcase on the landing. Their room is functional, with few decorations: Tenn only hangs a poster of one of his favourite groups on the vacant wall.

Tenn spends more than an hour cleaning it. He takes each object out, thoroughly dusting it before putting it back. Riku doesn't leave anything lying around, so it doesn’t take too long. He then cleans their parents' room.

At noon, he heats leftovers up and cooks rice to go with them. Riku and Tenn are usually the ones charged with cooking, as their parents come home late and don't have time to do it themselves. One of the twins takes care of dinner, the other one prepares breakfasts and bentos when necessary.

After eating, he quickly clears the dishes. Picking up his bag, he looks around the house before leaving. His bus stop is five minutes away, with a direct route to school, so the twins can still live with their parents for their studies. As he doesn't want to find a part-time job (he needs to take care of Riku, after all), it's an advantage.

His bus arrives and Tenn noticed how crowded it is.

The weather is quite nice these days, a lot of people tend to go out and enjoy the sun. Tenn would spend his whole outside if he could, though he's waiting for the time when the leaves would turn yellow. Fall is his favourite season, after all.

While looking for a seat, he notices a familiar face. He should ignore him, they don't know each other very well: they're mere acquaintances, nothing more.

Yet, when Izumi Iori's steel blue eyes meet his own, Tenn finds himself moving forward without thinking. He doesn't realize it until he's standing before Izumi, lowering his head and seeing the younger boy's surprised expression.

_Well done, Tenn. Now you have to say something or it'd be too rude.’ He tries to banish the thought from his mind and smiles at him with all the confidence he could muster. "Hello, Izumi."_

_And now you're so original, Tenn._ Tenn feels pretty desperate right now, even though he has no reason to be ashamed. And he doesn't care about Izumi's opinion about him - _no_ , he doesn't. He's just his twin's best friend. Not important to Tenn, right?

Izumi seems unsure but he bends his head nonetheless. His neck is a bit tense, Tenn remarks, he might feel a bit awkward near his friend's brother. And, okay, Tenn admits it: he was a bit harsh on Izumi, at first, so he has every right to be ill-at-ease near him. "Good afternoon, Nanase-san. Where is Riku-san? I thought he'd be with you."

Tenn shakes his head. "No, he left home this morning. He told me he had to study."

He doesn't want to think about how Izumi calls them. Izumi seems like a formal guy who doesn't use his friends' first name, definitely a stickler for principles (even though that blue-haired guy - his name might be Yotsuba - behaves like a child and Izumi doesn't say anything). The only reason he calls Riku by his first name is to be practica. "Nanase-san" also refers to Tenn, which can be confusing when they're together. And, for sure, Tenn approves his choice. It's logical and saves them from a lot of trouble.

However, a part of him is a bit annoyed by the fact that Izumi calls Riku by his first name when he doesn't know him for more than months.

_Stop it, Tenn._ He almost sounds like he's jealous...

"Oh, okay. I didn't feel like we had a lot of work though?" Then, after a sigh: "He must have troubles with one of our assignments. I'll ask him when I see him."

The bus starts moving again and an awkward silence fell between the two. Izumi kept staring at him, waiting for Tenn to make a decision - and Tenn doesn't know what to do. So, he only stares back, his eyes fixed on Izumi as if he was trying to engrave his features in his memory: thin, hard features that make his face look surly.

Izumi eventually decides to take the first step and takes his bag out of the other seat. "If you want to sit there...", he shyly whispers.

Tenn thinks of declining: the younger isn't comfortable with the guy who shouted at him during the first club meetings. However, Izumi removed his bag and, well, there aren't any other available seat right now.

So, he sits down. "Thank you, Izumi."

They don't exchange more than three words during the ride. When he is sure Tenn won't try to chat with him, Izumi turns his head to the window. Tenn avoids looking his way, focusing his gaze on the aisle.

Admittedly, he doesn't like being with Izumi. Of course, Tenn doesn't hate him; he admits the guy is nice, maybe the kind of boy he can accept as Riku's best friend. Sure, Izumi's a bit harsh on Riku during club activities, but otherwise, he's gentle and considerate, always stopping Riku before he exhausts himself, and his punctuality is definitely to his advantage.

Izumi befriending Riku must be the best thing that happened to his brother this year. Tenn has witnessed the changes in his twin's behaviour: how he managed to smile again, how he suddenly decided to leave their room more often, how he stopped caring about what others thought of him. Meeting Izumi was a breath of fresh air - for both Riku and Tenn. And the older sibling is grateful to him.

He can't hate the boy who saved his brother.

He just doesn't understand his own feelings regarding Izumi. If they aren't hatred, why is he so uneasy near him?

_Because you think he stole your brother, perhaps?_

And it's true the two became friends when the twins' relationship began to worsen. Unrelated, if you think about it in a rational way, but where his brother is involved, Tenn tends to forget about rationality.

Well, he still needs to make an effort - he doubts Izumi will leave Riku's life soon, so they're bound to meet each other on a regular basis.

(Will his efforts be enough, though?)

The bus finally reached their stop, right before their university. They leave without a word. When they are outside the campus, they look at one another, motionless - both wondering what to do now.

Tenn wishes Riku was there. Everything would be so much easier: the two would walk next to each other, chat about useless subjects (their lessons, the members of the clubs, who cares as long as they fill the silence with their words?), and then part ways when the next period would be about to start. But he doesn't know if he should let Izumi go, leave without further ado, or maybe try to keep him company for a bit?

No, no, no, the latter would be disastrous - they don't get along that well and they are too awkward, so it would feel pushy.

Guess what Tenn decidesd to do? "Where do you have to go?"

Because yeah, Tenn is not that clever and he still hopes he can get on well with his dear twin's best friend. ‘The things I'll do for Riku...

Izumi looks hard at him - he must be confused by Tenn's question, and to be honest, Tenn himself is stunned by his choice of action. "Er... I need to go to the library. I don't have anything to do until 3."

"Same for me", Tenn says, and without a word, moves forward.

He has no idea whether Izumi will follow him, but he does - he hears his steps behind him, his pace light and hesitant.

And Tenn is relieved - for no reason.

The library is in the main building and takes up about half of the floors. The layout is a bit unpractical and they aren't many tables, but Tenn usually finds a seat in the sociology section, even though he doesn't study that subject. He's a bit surprised when Izumi passes him and takes the lead.

When he opens his mouth, Izumi cuts him off. "Riku-san and I usually sit over there, so I thought we should check the area before going elsewhere."

Tenn frowns. He never sees Riku in the library, even though they visit the building at the same times. He has no idea where Riku sits - and never tried to find out, as he has the feeling that his brother wouldn't be pleased to meet him.

"Oh, okay. Let's go find him!" he says, his voice cheerful – but his heart is filled with dread.

There's a question in Izumi's icy eyes, but he doesn't ask, and Tenn doesn't answer.

The most interesting tables - the ones which are pushed against the walls, near the plugs - are already taken, but other seats are available. Tenn scans the crowd in search of a familiar red head.

"Riku-san!" Izumi calls, and Tenn turns away.

Tenn can spot the differences between how Izumi treats him and how the other acts around Riku. Izumi's almost a different man, with a wide, frank smile; his face lights up, his eyes drifting away from Tenn to meet Riku's jolly gaze, and he looks genuinely happy. The same goes for Riku, who he raises his hand and waves it, grinning and laughing. Then, his twin notices him and the smile disappears.

Tenn wants to throw up but forces himself to smile.

Izumi sits right across from Riku, forgetting about Tenn, who comes closer with doubt, before taking his place next to his twin. He lets them chat together while he brings his belongings out.

"Your brother told me you were busy... If you needed help, Riku-san, you should have told me."

Riku blushes slightly. "I didn't want to disturb you."

Izumi sighs. "You aren’t disturbing at all. If anything, I'd rather tutor you than let you fail all your finals."

"Iori! That's mean!"

Tenn keeps quiet, but he agrees with Riku. He saw him work his guts out on his assignments, after all. He believes in Riku.

But then Riku asks: "Did you want to study with Tenn-nii?" His voice turns cold, but there isn't any hint of jealousy or worry: just indifferent. Almost. Tenn still hears a note of pain in his tone.

Izumi nods. "Well, I thought it'd be nice if we could find you." He then, at last, looks at Tenn. "I'm glad there were seats left."

His voice is soft and Tenn can't take his eyes off of him.

"Thank you", he whispers.

At this point, he isn't sure of what he's feeling. He's grateful for Izumi's attention and hurt by Riku's attitude. But there's more, and he knows it - a curious heat seizing his insides, like a wave of hot air seeping in his lungs. For some reason, he doesn't grasp, Izumi warms the cockles of his heart.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

The air, when the sun sets, becomes chilly and windy, and Tenn lets out a sigh of relief when he pushes the door of the soba store. _Yaotome Soba_ , that's the name of the restaurant, as promoted by the new sign, written in elegant grey characters. The place, Tenn must say, is more refined than expected: everything, from the ebony black table to the dark curtains, from the golden and silver cushion to the tinted glasses displayed on the shelves, shouts ‘good taste’.

When he discovered the design, Tenn was pleasantly surprised. Of course, he still gave Gaku hell for his chairs, but that was playful and, in the end, Gaku didn't listen to him and kept his hideous seats. (To be honest, they weren't that ugly, Tenn was just teasing him.)

A few customers were already digging in their sobas. Though the store is quite new, several guests, who knew Gaku from his time working at the Yamamura's, decided to follow him when he opened his own restaurant. Tenn isn't surprised: Gaku is passionate about soba and knows how to cook them. The younger man never told the other he finds them delicious, but they are. His success is well deserved.

Ryuu is already seating at their usual spot, a drink before him. Probably alcohol; the two adults tend to drink a lot when they go out. But everytime Gaku invites them over, he waits for the last customers to leave his store before he indulges himself with a drink. Tenn is nineteen, so he settles for juice and still water. The moment he sits down, Gaku comes out of the kitchen and grumbles when he notices him.

"Thought I told you I didn't want to see you without your brother."

Tenn beams, innocent. "Thought I told you he was going out with his friend."

"Yeah, so now you're going to sulk all night long and spoil the fun for us."

"I won't." He's still answering jokingly, but his gaze turns cold.

Gaku sighs but pours him a glass. "Here, you brat. I can't wait for you to turn 20, I'm going to get you drunk and get rid of you once and for all."

"Gaku!" Ryuu reprimands him, but Gaku grins.

"What? I'm sure a drunk Tenn would be a nice change of pace. Bet he's the clingy drinker, and he’ll spill all his secrets without realizing."

Tenn looks daggers at him. "You're talking about yourself, Gaku."

"I never told you anything!"

"Oh, you did. May I remind you of that time when you said your father..."

Gaku quickly covers Tenn's mouth. "Alright, that's enough. Just tell me what you wanna eat and I'll get food ready."

"Do I have to pay for my meal?"

"Maybe?"

"Then about that time when..."

"Stop it, rascal. I get it. Free food for you too. Damn, you're lucky I'm such a good friend, I'll go bankrupt at this pace. So, what do you want?"

Tenn looks down at the menu, examines it for a few seconds before deciding: "Kitsune soba."

"Kitsune soba, _please_ ", Gaku corrects him, but he goes to his kitchen.

_I should buy him something,_ Tenn thinks. _He's right, he's tight on money and we never pay for our meals._

Even with the help of his father, who lent him money (from what Tenn understood, Gaku's dad always disapproved of his son being a mere employee, so even if he wasn't pleased with his son’s choice, he was okay with loaning him money. Gaku took it as he wasn't stupid and knew the interest rate would be lower), Gaku is in debt, and he hasn't managed to pay himself a salary yet. Tenn isn't rich either, but he's sure his parents would understand if he decided to buy a gift for the man who always treats him dinner.

Ryuu and he chat a bit about mundane stuff while waiting - they talk about the unusually mild weather, about the sun that shines so bright they're always surprised by dusk, about Tenn's studies as a [matter] 2nd-year student, about Ryuu's job at his stepfather's new hotel and demanding customers - and it's great, Tenn thinks, that he's not alone - he has his own friends, people who want to catch up on his news and won't be angry at him when he acts cold. When he was in high school, he dreamt of this kind of relationship - but never admitted it. Friends were for people like Riku, people who wore their heart on their sleeves - for they aren't afraid of showing who they truly are. Tenn wasn't cut out for friends: he acted distantly and couldn't care less about what his classmates were doing during the weekend.

He was proven wrong, and he's grateful for that.

When Gaku comes back with their meal, they both thank him for the food before digging in. Ryuu compliments Gaku on his cooking skills, Tenn keeps quiet but smiles nonetheless. Gaku joins them, when his last customers pay for their meals. They are alone in the restaurant now.

And for a while, the air is filled with silence, only broken by the jingling of their chopsticks.

When they're done with the food, Gaku clears the table. "Brat, you're coming with me and you’re doing the dishes."

Tenn grins. "Oh, so you feel lost without me."

"Tenn, _shut the fuck up_ ", Gaku snarls. "Ryuu, just sit somewhere and watch him."

"Eh? But I can help..."

"You can, but you're nice so I'm letting you off." Then he leaves for the kitchen.

Ryuu looks at Tenn, worry in his eyes, but the younger shrugs. He doesn't mind. They both follow Gaku to the kitchen, and Tenn takes on a towel. For now, Gaku doesn't have any dishwasher, and he won't buy one for a while - though, to be honest, if you care about your dishes, you should wash them by hand.

"So," Gaku says while cleaning their glasses, "how were club activities today?"

Tenn tenses up. "Good."

"Don't lie, brat, you were sulking when you came."

"Do you care?"

Gaku sighs. "Ryuu, I can't put up with him anymore."

Ryuu laughs. "In my opinion, you two get along pretty well."

"WE DON’T!" They shout at the same time.

Tenn grabs one of the glasses and starts to wipe it. Well, Ryuu isn't wrong, but he won't tell him.

"Everything's not fine... there's this guy, what's his name? Sounds like Izumi but not quite..."

"Isumi Haruka?" Tenn asks.

"Yeah, that one. You said he was giving you trouble, right?"

Tenn shrugs. If anything, that guy was the least of his worries. Besides... "He hasn't come lately, so I think he dropped out of the club. Good riddance."

Gaku stares at him for a few moments before glancing down at the pot he's washing. "Then, what was it? Your brother, again?"

Tenn doesn't answer. Not that he really needs to, actually. Both of them understand.

"You still don't know if he is upset with you?" Ryuu asks.

"Oh, he sure is", Gaku interjects, "who wouldn't if their brother was Tenn?"

"Gaku!"

"No, he's not wrong," Tenn says, even though admitting it hurts a bit. "I must have done something."

He's waiting for a retort - for Gaku to tell him he's a nice boy but doesn't know how to behave, to tell him it's not easy to care about him when he's so hard and such a perfectionist. To tell him Riku is nineteen too, and wants to become more independent - to stop relying on his brother.

He's already heard all of this, so hearing them another time won't change anything.

Yet, Gaku whispers: "We all make mistakes, Tenn." Then, in a louder voice: "If you knew what you did, you should apologize to him, and try to find a way to fix it. I'm sure your brother knows that, deep down."

"Then why doesn't he tell me anything?!" Tenn almost screams. His voice was too loud, he realizes. He shuts his mouth feeling a bit guilty.

"How should I know? I'm an only child."

Ryuu stands up behind him and puts his hand on Tenn's shoulder. His palm is warm - it always is, even in the middle of winter, as if he was the sun himself.

"If he doesn't tell you what bothers him, he's probably waiting for you to ask first."

"But why?" Tenn is confused.

He spent his whole life taking care of Riku. Asking him if he felt good, if his throat didn't hurt because of his coughing attacks, if he needed to rest a bit more. He has always been the one to ask questions. At this point, he thought Riku would trust him and have a heart-to-heart talk if he felt the need to.

Ryuu takes the towel and plate he was drying. Tenn realizes his hands are shaking. "Well, when my younger brothers don't talk to me, it means they want me to pay attention to them. Maybe Riku thinks you're not looking at him anymore."

Tenn's laugh is weak. "But I do. I've always looked after him."

Ryuu put down the plates and pats his head. "Yeah, I know. Sometimes there's a difference between what we think is true and the reality."

Tenn doesn't answer, but he's grateful. He doesn't know how he managed to get such friends. Maybe he needs to be pampered too.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Riku leaves the house before Tenn has the time to tell him goodbye. But, thirty minutes later, he still sends him a text saying __Have a nice day, which confuses Tenn a bit. Lately, he doesn't understand his brother at all - giving him the cold shoulder and then changing his mind and wishing him a _nice day_. Did something happen? Did he regret being too harsh? Tenn has no idea.__

He should study, but he isn't in the right mind, so he lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling - there's a darker line above him, trailing the space between their two beds, and maybe it's mere dirt, maybe it's the beginning of a crack, he has no idea.

He feels tired - more tired than he should. Sure, he came back a bit late last night, but he went straight to his bed (or rather, he did after brushing his teeth, of course). He doesn't know where all his fatigue comes from. But he almost falls asleep, his mind lulled by the comforting noise he hears downstairs - his mother is still home, for once, and if he wasn't under the weather, he would get up and spend time with her.

His phone suddenly rings, and Tenn flinches.

He sits up and reaches for his phone that lies on his nightstand. He doesn't know the number that calls him and, for a few seconds, considers not answering. Yet he's a bit curious, so he answers the call. "Hello?"

"Nanase-san?" A familiar voice asks. "May I ask for a bit of your time, if you're not too busy?"

Izumi Iori _calls_ him.

Tenn forgets how to breathe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tenn understands nothing (nobody does)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> First of all, thank you for your support! I didn't expect this fic to get a lot of attention and now I am so motivated to write this fic!! Special thanks to Lai for editing this chapter and for all the nice things you said!!  
> The beginning is a bit long but, well, I think it was worth it. Those idiots don't know how to talk to each other.

"Nanase-san? Are you listening?"

Izumi's distorted voice brings Tenn back to reality. He's not sure that all of this isn't just a dream. If he closed his eyes and let go, he might wake up and realise everything was mere fantasy. It could well be one of those daydreams that haunt you when you're about to fall asleep—a deceptively beautiful delusion.

However, until proven otherwise, Tenn is awake, and the _Izumi Ior_ i is calling him for real. "Hm, yes, sorry. I'm listening."

For a moment, Izumi's only answer is a sharp intake of breath.

"My apologies for suddenly calling you, Nanase-san. I got your number from your brother. I told him I needed to talk about club stuff and he agreed to give it."

Not surprising, Tenn thinks. The club is their only real link. Even Riku, who is dear to them, doesn't bring them closer. Izumi and Tenn don't know the same face of the redhead. Both see only a part of him. Sometimes, Tenn wonders about the sight Riku shows his best friend.

"Of course," Tenn replies.

"I'm not sure he bought my lie, though."

_What_. Tenn almost drops his phone when he hears this admission.

From what he recalls—Izumi's awkward gazes, their limited conversation when they run into each other—the younger boy has little to no reason to phone him. Anyway, they don't seem like the type of people who would get along.

Yet Tenn feels pleasantly surprised by his initiative. He notices his hands lightly shaking with excitement even though he doesn't understand why. His feelings, in that regard, are a mystery to him. Maybe, yes maybe, Izumi Iori embodies the new life Riku fought hard to get.

In the end, Tenn doesn't understand anything. This might as well be just a dream.

"Ah, by the way, is Riku-san here?" Izumi's voice sounds a bit weak.

Tenn frowns. If he asked, it meant Izumi got his number some time ago and didn't dare to use it until now. He must be feeling anxious, right now—calling Tenn when he is still wary of him. Tenn imagines him quivering on the other end of the line, fighting the urge to hang up without telling him the reason behind the call.

"No, he left early this morning." _I thought he'd be with you_ is what he wants to add, but doesn’t say.

"Great. Hm..."

Another lull in the conversation.

Tenn grips his phone harder. If this is about Riku, then...

(He pictures Izumi with a pink blush spreading other his cheeks, lips twisted with dread, feeling sick to his stomach.)

"I wanted to talk about Riku-san."

_I knew it._

"Why?" Tenn's voice is cold.

Tenn's not surprised, Izumi seems like the type of person who can easily read between the lines. He must have seen how Riku, always cheerful and lovely, becoming tense when Tenn shows up.

Riku isn't the type who gives the cold shoulder to anyone. When he doesn't like someone, he politely avoids them, but he properly greets them and answers their questions.

His coldness is almost out of character. Of course, Izumi would notice this odd behaviour. The other might know something Tenn doesn't. A mistake Tenn made and isn't aware of—an aggravating attitude, maybe, it wouldn't be impossible.

However, Tenn is sure of one thing. He doesn't want to hear all of this out of Izumi's mouth.

Izumi is a nice guy, but he's still a stranger, a boy who doesn't know _him_ —even though he knows Riku so well.

"I'm sorry, Nanase-san, I know it's rude of me to try to get between your brother and you. And... er-"

Tenn lets him look for the right words. He's not angry; only weary. The first time Izumi calls him, he wants to talk about his _twin_.

"...I'm truly sorry, Nanase-san. Please forget about it. I apologize for the bother—"

"Wait." Tenn cuts him off without thinking. When he realises what he's done, he inwardly curses.

He was afraid Izumi would hang up on him. But it was a pretty stupid move, and now he doesn't know what he's supposed to say.

_Great_. Now Izumi is waiting, and Tenn makes an awful decision.

"Do you... know anything about his reasons?"

"I do."

As absurd as it may sound, Riku finding a confidant in Izumi is a relief. Everyone needs to be supported by a close friend, after all.

_Even you, Tenn. You need Ryuu and Gaku._

"But, Nanase-san."

"Yes?"

"His secrets are not mine to tell."

Izumi is right. He knows and his lips are sealed, unable to betray the confidence. Tenn used to be the closest to Riku. Now, he has no idea about his feelings, and it hurts.

It hurts so much, but he can't do anything. Only wait until Riku is ready to talk.

Tenn is used to faking smiles. No matter how he feels, whether he's happy or upset, he can wear the same smile like an item of clothing. He's been smiling since that first time Riku's asthma left him lying on a hospital bed. He will smile for Izumi, he doesn't want the other to notice his pain.

"Of course," he answers in a gentle voice. In his short reply, there is no hint of his inner turmoil. "Then, Izumi, tell me about Mitsuki-san. How is he doing?"

Izumi falters, "Ni-Nii-san?"

"You called me to talk about my brother, but it's a sensitive subject. Why not talk about yours?"

He's pretty sure he hears Izumi muttering ‘demon’ under his breath. "I mean, he's fine but..."

"Don't you have some stories to tell? Funny stories, cute stories, anything you want to tell me." Now Tenn has fun.

A blank. Then,

"Okay, Nanase-san, there was this time..."

 

 

 

 

 ---

 

 

 

 

Izumi pretends nothing happened in the following days.

He greets Tenn when he sees him, talks to him when he needs to, answers questions with the same awkwardness as usual. He doesn't appear different at all.

There's one difference however, he's always in a hurry to leave, once they finished cleaning the gym after the club. He must be embarrassed for having talked about his brother for so long. If Tenn wanted to confront him, it would be a problem.

But he's fine with Izumi's attitude. He doesn't intend to talk about Riku, for now. (Or ever, if you ask him. Though he isn't sure. Tenn doesn't know what to do with Izumi Iori.)

What's more, Izumi is far for being the only member of the club he has to interact with. Their "dancing-but-we-do-more-than-only-dancing" club is surprisingly popular—even though young men tend to prefer other kinds of sport clubs—now that he thinks about it, Gaku and Ryuu used to be members, too.

Riku and Tenn joined during their first year (or, for Riku, his first semester in freshman year). While Tenn trains without trying to get along with the others, Riku has always been quick to befriend the other guys. Izumi Iori was, of course, the first of them. Tenn still remembers the time when Izumi seemed annoyed by Riku's constant requests. He was sure the younger boy would grow sick of his twin and turn him down. Well, Tenn was wrong.

What helped his case might have been his blooming friendship with Izumi's older brother, Mitsuki. A close friend of Osaka Sougo, a senpai who often comes to watch their practice and give them advice. Izumi Mitsuki and Riku are quite similar, bubbly and cheerful. The younger brother couldn't seem to resist them. Tenn himself would have been unable too, to be honest.

However, everybody respects his wish to be left alone, it's comfortable. A bit lonely. But Tenn has trouble getting on well with people his age. They always seem so immature, so selfish—and none of them ever managed to get past his cold stares and sharp comments.

_It's okay, though._ _Better off alone than in bad company._

The words feel empty.

After Monday's practice and cleaning, Izumi is, again, the first one to leave the changing rooms. His older brother has come to watch their training, even though he sucks at dancing. When he's told Iori has already left the lockers, Mitsuki shrugs and resumes his conversation with the foreign student, Rokuya.

Tenn doesn't eavesdrop on their chat. Still he hears them, since their voices are loud, and it seems like they're talking about anime. Well, at least Rokuya does the talking and the older Izumi merely retorts when he disagrees.

Riku is changing next to him. He's unusually quiet and doesn't seem to pay attention to his surroundings. His eyes are staring down at the shirt he's buttoning.

So, when Tenn pulls his jacket, it comes as a surprise that those amber eyes were focused on him.

"Let's go home together, Tenn-nii."

Tenn's eyes widen with surprise.

Riku's face isn't as tender as it used to be. Yet, his expression is filled with shreds of warmth he hasn't managed to get rid of, with signs of love he can't hide.

Tenn had plans. He was supposed to go to the library.

"Sure, Riku."

Of course, he won't reject this offer of peace.

His voice, while answering, becomes as soft as silk, losing its usual edge. Even he notices the difference. And he loves how his voice sounds when he talks to his brother, loves this quiet stream of raw affection even he can't control.

"Whoa, Tenten is scary."

Tenn hears, but he doesn't care. Sometimes, his own feelings frighten him too. For he doesn't know how to deal with them.

When he's ready to leave, Riku waves goodbye to his friends, and Tenn mimics him.

They keep silent until they get on the bus.

It's not exactly a comfortable silence, but it's not uncomfortable, either. Riku pockets his phone and stares at Tenn for a few seconds, without saying anything.

Tenn also stares at him. He knows his brother's expression by heart. He can tell Riku's not relaxed but he keeps calm, somehow. He's not smiling but his eyes aren't icy either.

Now that Tenn thinks about it, there's something different in Riku's eyes. A new hint of maturity, maybe, with a pain Tenn isn't ready to acknowledge. He wonders why he hasn't noticed earlier. Now Riku almost appears like... an adult.

_He has the same eyes as me,_ Tenn realizes.

"Have you talked with Iori?" Riku asks.

(Of course, Tenn knew he wanted to talk about his best friend. Still, he finds it funny that both of them cares about the other so much they want to make sure he wasn't too severe.)

(He's sure Riku has noticed Iori's behaviour.)

"We... kind of talked, I guess?" He tries to remain vague. Unsure, if he's supposed to spill the beans, as Izumi Iori looked like he wanted to hide his true motives to Riku.

"Ah, that's why he's ignoring you, uh."

Riku's remark wasn't meant to be spiteful or nasty. The boy has no idea how to be mean after all. He is, however, hopelessly clumsy and doesn't always realise what he's saying.

"Riku, I promise I didn't say anything that could have offended him." Or... well... he basically told him to mind his own business. But Tenn doesn't recall being rude to Izumi. Actually, he's starting to find it easier to talk to him now. "He might be embarrassed, though."

"Embarrassed?" Riku repeats, incredulous. "Weren't you talking about the club?"

Right. That was the excuse Izumi gave his brother.

"At first, yes, we did." He doesn't like lying to his brother but blames it on Izumi and his secrecy. _He owes me now._ "But it felt inappropriate to hang up when we were done, so we chatted a bit about stuff. You know, uni, his brother..."

His voice dies down. Now, that wasn't a lie.

Thankfully, Riku doesn't seem to notice his hesitation. Quite the contrary, he's beaming.

" _Now_ I understand why he's ignoring you, Tenn-nii. He's definitely embarrassed." He bursts into laughter. "He will hate me when I tell him."

"What?" Tenn is quite lost, right now.

"Uh, nothing! Forget about it, Tenn-nii!"

When Riku laughs, he seems to forget about his sorrows, forgets he's angry with his brother, forgets about himself, and Tenn hasn't felt this warmth in his heart for months.

They get off the bus soon after that; and while they still aren't as close as they used to be, Riku smiles at him when he opens the front door.

 

(Later on, when they're both in their bedroom and Riku doesn't seem to be studying. Tenn decides to push his luck.

"You care a lot about Izumi, don't you?"

Riku doesn't answer right away, he's typing something on his phone. When he raises his eyes, he nods. "Yes, I do. Why do you ask?"

His tone is a bit cold, a bit indifferent, but now Tenn can see that it's all an act. While he wishes he could question his twin about his true reasons, he knows Riku won't answer him. Not right now.

Tenn sits on his bed.

"No reason. I just thought..." Riku's phone buzzes and his brother turns to his screen. "Nevermind, I guess I'm interested in him."

Riku freezes. "Are you?"

_Wow, his face is so serious._ Tenn responds,"Er, maybe?"

Riku stares at him for a few seconds, as if he was dissecting his facial expression. Then, he smiles. "This is good news for Iori."

Again, Tenn has no idea what's happening with his brother.)

 

 

 

 

 ---

 

 

 

 

"So, you managed to talk with Riku-kun?"

When he learns the news, Ryuu beams.

Tenn isn't as enthusiastic as him, and he feels the need to correct him. "Only for a bit. And we didn't talk about our own affairs at all. He only asked me if I knew why his friend was ignoring him."

"And?"

"He seems to have his own idea on the reason."

Ryuu laughs.

Today's sky is grey and cloudy. The temperature has dropped and Tenn had to remind Riku to wear a scarf before leaving the house. His twin grumbled but obeyed him anyway. Or maybe, Tenn reckons, he was already planning to wear the scarf and only complained because he was annoyed. Lately, he doesn't really know.

Tenn decided to skip practice and to pay Ryuu a visit. His friend works as a receptionist at one of his stepfather's hotels, and he was quite surprised to see Tenn casually walk inside the lobby as if he owned the place. Fortunately, Ryuu could take a break and both of them are now sitting outside, on a low wall defining a flower bed.

The wind, when it blows, is cold and Tenn occasionally shivers in his light jacket. He should have listened to his own advice, he realizes, and worn a scarf himself.

"What do _you_ think, Tenn?"

Tenn shrugs. "I made him tell stories about his beloved brother. He's quite a brocon, that Izumi guy. He's so supportive of his big brother, that’s so sweet of him. Did you know their parents own a cake shop and their cakes are, I quote, so cute he didn't want to eat them when he was a child? And that he actually designed nearly a third of their cakes? And that he asks his brother to make his bentos because, I quote again, they are the best?"

"You... learned a lot, Tenn."

Tenn smirks. "He asked for it."

"Sometimes, Tenn, you're kinda scary..."

Yet Ryuu's eyes, as he's saying this, are as gentle and caring as ever. Tenn doesn't take offence.

"That Izumi Iori... you like him, huh."

Tenn's answer is an immediate, "No."

Once again, Ryuu giggles—and his laugh is clear and innocent, like a child's. Even though he's older than Tenn. The younger tends to see him as a kind of older brother. Sometimes.

"How did he meet Riku-kun, by the way? I don't remember very well. Riku-kun was always alone, and one day he showed up with Iori-kun."

Tenn's face darkens. "I don't know. There are still mysteries I haven't solved yet."

_Why does Riku ignore him?_

_How did he meet Izumi?_

_How did they become such good friends when Izumi Iori is as sharp as Tenn?_

_What's the thing Izumi has noticed that Tenn hasn't?_

_What does he want from him?_

"You still have Iori-kun's number, right?" Ryuu asks.

Tenn nods. "I have?"

"Then you should call him."

Tenn blinks, trying to figure out if the one who said that is the real Tsunashi Ryuunosuke and not some kind of doppelganger.

"I don't want to talk to him about Riku." He retorts, his voice as sharp as a blade.

"You don't have too. Have you considered becoming friends with him?"

Tenn's breath speeds up, and he's sure he's also blushing. "I-I don't need new friends. I... have you and Gaku, right? That's enough for me."

Ryuu shakes his head. "I think you need a friend your age, Tenn. You need to let go of your complex and stop thinking of Riku-kun so much."

"But... isn't that rude? Trying to steal his friend..."

Yup, he's definitely blushing. Right now—he feels his cheeks heating. But he has no idea why he's so embarrassed. He's not lonely, right? Of course, he isn't.

"You're not _stealing_ his friend, Tenn. You're bonding with one of your fellow club members. If anything, Riku would be happy to see you paying attention to someone he's close to." Tenn doesn't agree, but he keeps his mouth shut. "Now, call him."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, right now. I won't listen, I need to go back to work. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to do it. Stop wavering, Tenn."

Ryuu sticks out his thumb by way of encouragement before walking away.

Left alone, Tenn doesn't move for a few minutes. His eyes wander towards the street and its bystanders—people striding looking straight ahead or with their heads cast down on their phones. Nobody notices him.

A shiver goes down his spine.

Ryuu told him to call Izumi, but Tenn doesn't feel ready. Instead, he chooses to send a text message. It's easier to do, he can think before typing and if Izumi wants to ignore him, he doesn't have to answer.

_> Tenn: I'm sorry if I bothered you last time. Your stories were very funny. If you want, I'd like to listen to more of them._

And he hits the send button without leaving himself enough time to draw back.

 

( _Your stories were very funny_ , what kind of compliment was that? That's dull.

As expected, during the next hours, he can't stop thinking of his stupid text.)

 

 

 

 

 ---

 

 

 

 

Tenn goes back to his bedroom and tells Riku the bathroom is free.

His twin gets up and leaves him alone without a word.

Tenn thinks he's getting a headache. The best thing to do is to lie on his bed and close his eyes for a bit. Maybe he should listen to music. As he leans to pick his phone and earpieces up, he notices the green light of the indicator and checks his lock screen.

His eyes fall on the name _Izumi_ and without any valid reason, his heart goes crazy.

He unlocks his phone to read the full message.

_> Izumi: I am sorry for the last days, Nanase-san. I was convinced you were bored of me and wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. Therefore, I thought I had to give you some space. Please don't think this is your fault. If you wish to talk, you can call me tonight, I'll make time for you._

Tenn feels his hands shaking and puts his phone down on his bed before he accidentally drops it. He takes a deep breath. Somehow, this is a good start. He can't help but think Izumi's text is a bit strained as if he forced himself to type an apology—no, no, that's not right. More like he tried to be as neutral as possible.

Before he can change his mind, he picks his phone again and calls Izumi.

_Ryuu will be proud of me_.

Izumi answers by the third ringtone.

"Hello, Nanase-san?" He sounds almost incredulous.

"Good evening, Izumi."

"I was sure you wouldn't call."

"Well, I did."

Neither of them says anything for the next minute.

Tenn realizes he was the one who wanted to talk, this time. So, he has to be the one to start the conversation, this time.

And he can only think of one single thing.

"You need to work more on your steps. They were too sloppy, lately."

_Why._

Izumi breathes deeply (most likely gathering his thoughts) before answering in a cold voice. "How nice of you, Nanase-san. Well, thank you. I am honoured to receive your attention. I'll take care of this problem."

Tenn wants to facepalm. "That's not what I wanted to say."

"No? Then what were you saying? That I'm not serious enough? That was what you told me at the beginning of the year, right?" He doesn't sound offended at all, more like he's merely stating the facts.

Izumi's not _wrong_ , he really isn't. Tenn understands why Riku has more friends than him.

"I'm sorry, Izumi." _I panicked._ "You need to improve your skills but you're already a good dancer. I... really mean it."

He does. Izumi _is_ a good dancer. Far from the best, certainly, and he still has a long way to go, but he's a beginner. And yes, for a beginner, he's good and—

Why is he so awkward, even in his own thoughts?! It was much easier last time, and now he has no idea how to have a normal chat with a guy.

Izumi doesn't answer right away. When he does, his voice is hushed. "Thank you, Nanase-san. To be honest, I thought you didn't care about the rest of us."

That hurts. "I do."

"That's what you say, but I'm not that sure. You only took the time to point out my mistakes because I was getting close to your brother."

_You were jealous, Nanase-san._

Izumi hasn't said this, but Tenn still hears his rebuke.

Why did he even call him, anyway?

Ah, right. He needs "friends" and Izumi is the only one he can talk with for now. He kind of get why Gaku complains about him. Not that he'll tell him, of course.

"I was. In fact, I still am." At this point, Tenn has no reason for hiding anything. After all, Izumi knows more than him, right?

"You shouldn't, you know. I won't steal your brother."

"Will you", Tenn says without thinking.

Izumi sighs. "You're quite the same, Riku-san and you. You have an unhealthy way of expressing your affection towards each other. You can relax, Nanase-san. I am not your enemy."

Tenn keeps quiet for a few seconds. He's under the impression he's finally starting to understand something.

He can't make it out—this missing piece of the puzzle, no matter how hard he tries, he doesn't find it. But he knows he's close to finding it. If only he knew how to get it...

He feels a lot calmer when he opens his mouth again. "Wouldn't you be jealous if one of your friends spent more time with Mitsuki-san than you?"

His voice is teasing, but Iori doesn't seem to notice. "Of course not. Nii-san deserves attention and I'm glad for him when people enjoy his company. Aren't you the same with Riku-san?"

Tenn's growing smile falters. "What if Mitsuki-san stopped talking to you? Would you still be that happy for him?"

A blank. Izumi must be thinking of his question, and Tenn waits until he answers. "I don't know. You and I are not the same and I don't think I'd do something that would irritate Nii-san."

_So, I did something._

Tenn lets himself fall on his bed. His headache is getting stronger and he feels a lump in his throat. Even though he has no idea what Izumi is referring to, he whispers. "You're right."

"... Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't."

Again, silence. Tenn closes his eyes for a bit. If he listens carefully, he can hear the jagged rhythm of Izumi's breathing. He wonders if he should say goodbye and hang up. Riku will be back from his bath very soon, and he's not sure he'll be happy about the situation.

"... What are you doing, Nanase-san?" Izumi asks, and Tenn jumps with surprise.

"Nothing for now. What about you? Are you studying?" _Should I leave you alone?_

He really should hang up now.

"No, I'm done with my work. I was supposed to watch a movie with Nii-san but, he was too tired and he already went to bed." A pause. "Do you want me to tell you what happened the last time we watched something together?"

Well, that was the pretext for calling him, right? "Please."

Izumi isn't that good at telling stories. He tends to spend too much time dwelling on details about his brother—more specifically, _cute_ details Tenn didn't need to know. For sure, he won't be able to see Izumi Mitsuki in the same light, from now on. Fortunately for the older Izumi, Tenn won't use this knowledge as blackmail material. But he could if he ever needed to.

Izumi follows up with another cute anecdote ( _He had this very cute apron, too big for him..._ ) when Riku pushes the door of the bedroom. His eyes fall on Tenn, see he's on his phone, and turn away. He sits by his desk and opens one of his notebooks.

Tenn soon forgets about his presence. He replies to Izumi as if he was alone in the room, without taking any precautions. Listening to Izumi talking about his brother is soothing, and when he hangs up, he realizes his headache has disappeared.

When he sits up, Tenn notices Riku giving him side glances. And the other is grinning.

"What is it, Riku?"

"Things are going well, huh."

Tenn doesn't know what to say.

 

 

 

 

 ---

 

 

 

 

Izumi calls him again, the next evening.

Both of them soon settle into a routine without noticing. A routine Tenn doesn't mind at all.

Izumi's days are for Riku only. He follows him like a shadow, tries to forestall his clumsiness, watches over him without a word. His eyes are filled with pure concern and affection, so genuine that Tenn starts to wonder about his true feelings regarding Riku. From the outside, Izumi cares about Riku, maybe more like a big brother or a lover than a mere friend. Tenn doesn't know which one is true, but either way, he does understand the other’s need to protect Riku.

Izumi doesn't even steal a glance at him. The message is clear. There's no place for Tenn in his daily life.

That's fine with him.

Every evening, however, they exchange a bunch of phone calls. These calls are shorter than the first two. Sometimes, Izumi calls him to tell him about something that happened to his older brother. When he doesn't, Tenn seeks any pretext to contact him. When they talk, they often fall silent and struggle to find a new topic. It should be tiring, yet when Tenn puts his phone down, he feels surprisingly calm.

Riku is the silent witness of their exchanges. And, more than usual, Tenn finds it hard to know what his brother truly feels. A maelstrom of emotions whirl in those amber-coloured orbs. The pain haunting them hasn't disappeared, far from it. It resurges when Riku doesn't notice him and lets his guard down. This pain, Tenn can't stand it. However, when he wants to ask his brother and opens his mouth, his voice doesn't work and he doesn't make a sound. He hates his own cowardice.

On the other hand, Riku is definitely more relaxed, now. He smiles when he forgets himself and when he sees Tenn calling his best friend, he winks at him. He _winks_. At Tenn. Even though he never says anything and keeps his problems to himself. Yeah, Tenn doesn’t understand him at all.

A week goes by. On Thursday, while they're at the club, Tenn steps back. He has mastered his own part of their choreography (nothing surprising, really). So, he helps their coach, who spends most of his time trying to help the weakest members, by watching over the best dancers.

He sits down next to the coach's daughter, Takanashi Tsumugi, also their club manager. She's taking down notes on her small notebook. She almost makes him laugh. She's so focused on her duty, barely noticing him. Tenn finds her cute.

He wipes off his forehead and sets his towel down. He lets his eyes wander, until he finds Izumi and Riku and rivets his gaze on them.

He didn't lie to Izumi when he told him he was skilled. He is, objectively speaking, one of the best of this club. Not because of how inexperienced the others are, no. He puts his heart into his work. If he can't get something right, he will step by a corner and practice by himself until he succeeds. That's how he managed to get this good, through hard work and perseverance.

He's a bit like him, Tenn realizes. A perfectionist who never backs down from a challenge. Someone who needs to be in control of his own life. That's why Tenn was so hard on him at first... no, he's lying to himself. He was hard out of pettiness, as he was jealous of him for getting close to Riku when he felt himself falling away.

Speaking of Riku, the redhead is getting muddled up by his own part. Tenn used to help him, during their first year. Now, Izumi is the one standing next to him, guiding him with all his might. He looks annoyed, probably because Riku doesn't listen to him.

Tenn caught himself smiling. Well, it's true his brother tends to go his own way, but this is also why Tenn finds him so endearing.

He hasn't noticed Takanashi laying her eyes on him until she points out. "Tenn-san, you're actually staring a lot at Iori-san."

He swerves at her direction. His carnelian orbs staring right into hers. She bites her lip, as if she was sorry, she has talked to him.

"I was looking at my brother."

She opens her mouth, closes it, then opens it again. "Yeah, you were. But I mean... lately, you're paying attention to Iori-san too."

"Really?" He hasn't noticed at all.

"Yes, really." She breathes deeply before adding. "I'm relieved, to be honest. I believed you’ve only had eyes for Riku-san and didn't care about the others. I had no idea how to address the issue... I'm glad I was wrong."

He veers away. He can't help but think of what Izumi told him. "Izumi said I should work on this."

She laughs.

"That's just like him." Then, more seriously."He's not wrong, it'd be best if you could pay attention to the others too but... well, if it's only Iori-san for now, it's okay. He needs you."

Tenn blinks. "Why?"

He has drawn his own conclusions about Izumi. The other manages on his own. He's shy but has a sharp tongue, so he's able to protect himself. There's nothing Tenn can do to help him.

Takanashi doesn't answer right away.

Tenn finally turns to her, she's fiddling with her hair. When she speaks again, her lips are trembling.

"Iori-san seems all mature and helpful, it's easy to forget he can be hurt too. He seems fine, but I think he's repressing himself. Like, he doesn't allow himself to be..." Her cheeks flush. "I-I'm very sorry, Tenn-san! Please forget about it. I didn't mean to bother you—"

_How cute_ , Tenn thinks again. With her pink face and her shy expression, she looks like a rabbit. "Don't worry, Takanashi-san."

He redirects his attention to Riku and Izumi.

It sure is easy to see that Riku needs assistance, who stumbles and acts all clumsy. Yet Tenn knows he will hide his troubles, when he doesn't want to bother his entourage. How many times has his twin claimed he was fine, when he was on the verge of an attack, just so his family would be relieved? That Tenn wouldn't worry?

Izumi, however... is a whole different story.

What lies behind his blue-grey pupils? Is he only tired of Riku's awkwardness? Does he have another reason to sigh? What burden does he bear?

Tenn realizes he hasn't really seen Izumi. He only wanted to get along with him so he could understand Riku. Because he was told it would do him good.

But now, he wants to know about the real Izumi Iori.

(Maybe Tenn already wanted to discover more about him. Maybe he just didn't think he should try.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmm guys did you know you're supposed to ask "how are you doing" when calling someone? yeah no


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter was trash, but then Lai disagreed.  
> Anyway hello, I hope you're having a good day! Guess who enjoyed that one panel in vibrato 8 when Iori and Tenn look so done with each other............. I'm tired of myself.

Tenn and his new friend keep on calling each other, but it doesn't feel like Tenn unravels the mystery named Izumi Iori.

He tries to list what he's sure of, to fill out the picture he's sketching inside his mind. But it's not that easy: Tenn has the feeling he's trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle without knowing its model.

Still, he starts to gather a few facts about Izumi; facts he doesn't share, keeping them for himself, as if they were small parts of a hidden treasure.

 

 

The first one: Izumi isn't really a spontaneous guy.

This one was quite easy to guess. To be honest, Tenn doesn't consider it a flaw, as he quite understands where it came from.

Izumi Iori strikes him as someone who has less self-confidence than he appears, someone who thinks he isn't as good as others—that he doesn't deserve as much indulgence. He's clever, athletic, hardworking, so his lack of confidence must arise from something else. A secret, maybe, something he doesn't want to say about himself.

 

 

The second one: Izumi truly cares about Riku, to the point of being more open with him.

Tenn noticed the boy’s behaviour with his brother when he started to observe them when they were at the library. He sometimes finds an empty seat near them, but instead of going to them and saying hello, he stays away. He doesn't want to bother them is all and, most of the time, they don't notice him. It's okay. Tenn goes to the library to work, so it's better if he's alone. He doesn't pay them any attention, except when he takes a break. He raises his eyes and watches them chatting in hushed tones to avoid annoying the others and getting kicked out. Somehow, Tenn is able to guess what they are talking about.

Izumi leans over Riku with furrowed brows, his lips brushing past the other’s red hair. Riku always smiles when he does; he waves his hand, corrects something the other wrote down wrong. Other times, Riku is the one who turns to Izumi, and then...

There's no way Tenn can be mistaken. Izumi's face, when he realizes Riku is looking at him, is a face of surprise. He can't hide his confusion, the way his eyes open wide, how his cheeks turn pink, and he ends up tripping over his words. He's helpless and can't hide his affection at all.

Somehow, Tenn is a bit jealous.

When they're at the club, it's the same thing again—except that Izumi keeps his distance with Riku. He watches the redhead from afar, only approaching when he deems it necessary.

Now that he spends most of his time on the bench, monitoring the training, Tenn sees Izumi restrains himself and tries not to come near Riku when he has no reason to.

He's careful, with Riku, but he doesn't seem to be hiding anything from him. No, quite the contrary: he trusts Riku enough to show the other his weaknesses.

Tenn doesn't know how he manages to be so vulnerable before someone else.

 

 

There's actually a third fact he noticed, but Tenn's not exactly sure of it, but he wants to believe he's right.

He wants to believe Izumi Iori is, deep down, a nice and obliging person.

Of course, he's always strict, and weary, and sour; yet Tenn feels it's only a wall Izumi built between himself and other people. He can't, however, notice someone in need of help and look the other way.

Izumi doesn't seem like he's helping others. He doesn't follow this annoying cliché of a hero who flies to somebody's rescue without thought. Most times, he lets others act before him. But, that doesn't mean he turns a blind eye at all.

That one time, Yotsuba didn't warm up, ended up hurting himself; Izumi looked worried. He still lectured the other (which was necessary, Tenn thinks, something he would have done himself if Yotsuba was his friend), and Yotsuba listened to him without seeming impressed; the taller male must be accustomed to Izumi’s admonishing, so he only nods and says "Sure" while waiting for the storm to pass. Yotsuba didn't look fazed when he sits on the same bench as Tenn, only muttering "I got told off..." to himself.

But once their activities were over, Izumi asked him if he wanted Ousama Pudding and Yotsuba's face lit up.

Well, if Izumi's like that, of course he got close to Riku, right? He must have felt the need to protect the redhead. Tenn understands.

Izumi's kindness shows up during their phone calls. Or at least, that's what Tenn feels. When he doesn't have any reason to call him, he tends to use minor problems as a way to start a conversation. The problem isn't important: he talks about an assignment he finds troublesome, a classmate who didn't do their part of the group work, or even Isumi Haruka's last petty attack—though Izumi disagrees on the last one, saying it's actually concerning. Tenn isn't the kind of guy who complains at all, he only points out inconveniences, without asking for pity. It's all for the sake of conversation, after all. Yeah, he sucks at small talks.

Tonight, when Tenn is done relaying his day (almost nothing happened), Izumi doesn't answer right away.

Tenn doesn't hear a thing, not even the soft rhythm of Izumi's breathing. As if, for a brief moment, Izumi had disappeared, dissolved into the narration of his ordinary adventures.

So he asks: "Izumi?"

"Nanase-san, you are patient with your classmates. I think it's admirable."

Tenn blushes. "Uh... No, I'm not?"

When Izumi replies, his tone is somehow dry and determined.

"I'm not trying to flatter you, Nanase-san. Getting to know you is difficult but I think it was worth the trouble. You are always irritated by others, but when you lecture them, you're sincerely trying to help them. At first, I thought you were hungry for attention, but now I know you're not." He pauses before adding: "I feel like you're trying to erase yourself when you do that."

Tenn has no idea how to answer.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

Fall weathers worsen, making way for winter and its freezing winds.

Gaku's restaurant becomes more popular, attracting new patrons who enjoys his cooking. There were evenings when his two friends couldn't come to his shop that was unable to accommodate more customers.

Today when Tenn pushes the door, there aren't as many customers, and he easily spots a familiar redhead next to Ryuu.

His little brother has his back to Tenn, but Riku’s shoulders are shaking with laughter. He's not alone, Izumi is sitting right across him, quite tense, his eyes on Riku.

When he looks up, Izumi noticed Tenn, a light smile blooms on his lips.

Ryuu then turns his head towards him, waving at him. "Ah, Tenn, thanks for coming! We were waiting for you."

Tenn draws near without a word, taking his coat and gloves off before putting them on the back of a vacant chair. He sits next to Izumi, facing Ryuu, whose golden eyes kept staring so insistently. Tenn shoots him a dirty look.

"I had no idea you would be here", he says matter-of-factly, looking at Riku then Izumi, trying to hide his sudden agitation. Oh boy, he has butterflies in his stomach.

Riku looks away, and Izumi keeps quiet, so Ryuu replies for them: "Me neither. It's a great surprise, right?"

Izumi mutters: "I didn't know you were acquainted with the owner, Nanase-san."

His cheeks take a light shade of pink. Tenn starts fiddling with his hair. "Well, it's a long story."

He's not sure he should tell them the boring story of his life, but he catches a glimpse of interest in his brother's eyes, and he remembers he never told Riku about it. "To make it short, I met them in high school."

"Really?" Izumi seems interested too, so Tenn goes on.

"I lost my bearings once, so I went inside a bar to ask for directions. Gaku and Ryuu talked a bit with me before seeing me out."

What a funny way to meet your best friends, when you're underage. Gaku was barely twenty, though he looked older. Ryuu was the one who approached him. At first Tenn felt uneasy, as he wasn't sure the other guy wasn't a creep. But both of them were polite and treated him like a younger brother. In the end, they told him how to get home and that was all.

Afterwards, Tenn saw them from time to time, without really getting closer. They were acquaintances, and Gaku was a pain, but he felt comfortable with them. They weren't true friends until Tenn entered uni—and it took him even more time to admit he saw them as such.

"The brat was almost crying," Gaku teases him, showing up without notice. He raises his hand and tousles Tenn's hair. "You should have seen him. He was _so_ cute."

"Oh my, he really was,” Ryuu agrees, and both of them pretend not to notice how Tenn stares daggers at them.

"You're so dead," Tenn groans as he tries to brush Gaku's arm off. "I'll kill you, Gaku."

"You're all bark and no bite, Tenn", Gaku retorts, not impressed at all.

Izumi observes them with his mouth agape and Tenn feels his face heating up. Jeez, this is embarrassing.

"Tenn-nii is too kind to do that, Yaotome-san! He's an angel!" Riku speaks without thinking. When he realizes what he said, he bites his lip.

Great. Now Riku is as red as him and the table is surrounded by a heavy atmosphere.

At least Tenn is so grateful his little brother would still defend his honour in that kind of situation.

"See, Gaku?" He breaks the silence, trying to ignore how fast his heart is racing. "I'm an angel. You're just being mean."

Gaku sighs. "You're rubbing off on me."

But he leaves them without saying anything else, so Tenn takes it as a victory.

When he's gone, talking is actually easier (another proof that Gaku is an annoying man).

Tenn inquires about Ryuu's family, and his friend reassures him that everything is fine with them. Ryuu’s brothers get good grades, his mother cut her hair and his stepfather plans on opening another hotel soon.

Izumi doesn't ask anything, but his confusion is clear so Ryuu decides to expose to the other his family background. "I'm working as a receptionist in one of my stepfather's hotels. When I was a child, I wanted to be a fisherman, like my father, but he doesn't earn a lot. He wouldn't be able to pay me a wage if I were to work for him, so I had to find another job."

"You could have worked on another boat, though?"

"Well, yes, of course, but it wouldn't have been the same." Ryuu's voice is plain but his face betrays his pain. "Almost every memory I have of my father comes from the moments I spent on his boat. He taught me how to drive it and I had a lot of fun. I'm not sure I would have been happy with other fishermen."

Tenn already knew of this story, but each time he hears it, he feels his chest tightening. Ryuu loves his family more than anything; yet when he had to leave for their sake, he didn't hesitate.

If he were in the older man’s shoes, Tenn would have done the same thing. He would have left with a smile, even though his heart would feel crushed.

"I first worked in Okinawa."

"Hence your accent," Izumi whispers, not low enough not to be heard by Tenn, who wonders how the other managed to notice it. Tenn himself didn't realize until that time Ryuu was so drunk he talked in his dialect.

"At that time, my stepfather was looking for a replacement in Tokyo. Money was a sensitive subject at home and the pay was better. My father told me to go. I was reluctant but in the end, I ended up staying here. I like this place and I have wonderful friends. I'm glad I left my hometown."

"You're still calling your brothers every day though," Gaku cuts in, coming back with their sobas.

He grabs a stool when he's done serving them and sits at the head of the table.

Tenn feels good, surrounded by his friends, his beloved brother, and this boy he can't exactly describe in one word but who, without doubt, warms his heart. He kind of hopes all five of them will meet up again. Was it asking too much? Was he too greedy?

"What about Yaotome-san?" Izumi asks. "How did you manage to open your own restaurant at such a young age?"

Gaku looks smug—he's definitely happy to be asked this very question.  "Do you know about Yamamura Soba?"

"The name rings a bell."

"That shop belongs to my grandfather and I used to work there as a part-time job. But my cousin will take over the business, but I dreamt of opening my own restaurant. My father lent me money and my grandpa offered me advice." He laughs. "Okay, I guess it's not as moving as Ryuu's backstory."

"Of course not, Yaotome-san. If anything, you're impressive." What's also impressive is Izumi's perfect manners.

"Alright, Izumi-otouto. Now, let's talk about you."

Izumi becomes pale, and Tenn knows him well enough to see the tremor on his lips. Fact number four: Izumi doesn't like talking about himself.

"There's nothing to say about me. I am but a mere student after all."

"You have an older brother though," Tenn prompts and Izumi freezes. _Hey, you're pretty chatty when it comes to him._

"Ah, Izumi Mitsuki, right?" Gaku asks. "We know the guy."

"Do you?" Both Izumi and Tenn question him at the same. When the two looks at each other, they couldn't help but smile.

"Well, he's that guy who works at the cake shop, isn't he? He sometimes comes here with that foreign man. We're not exactly friends, but we do get along."

"Eh," Izumi replies. However, he remains silent.

Tenn wonders why he doesn't try to relate cute anecdotes about his brother, as he does with Tenn. It's as if Tenn was someone special...

No, he isn't. Riku must have heard these stories, too. They both know and Tenn, somehow, feels closer to Riku.

All this time, Riku was quiet with a vacant look. Nobody minds him, as if his silence was a given. He doesn't seem like was he listening to their conversation; in fact, he doesn't seem to be present, at all.

Tenn feels disappointed.

 

 

When Ryuu offers to drive them home, Riku refuses, wanting to help Gaku clean up. Gaku doesn't need help, so Tenn finds this pretext a bit suspicious — but he lets it go. Izumi has declined too, before heading out. Tenn thinks he should accept, but Ryuu nudges him.

"You should see him home, Tenn."

"... Why?" He can't believe his ears.

Unfortunately, Ryuu is dead serious. "I think Riku-kun wanted to leave you two alone. It would be wrong not to take this opportunity, right?"

Tenn, unable to find a valid reason to weasel out, is now walking in step with Izumi, down the familiar streets between Gaku's restaurant and their respective houses.

When he saw Tenn catching up with him, Izumi says nothing; he only frowns before slowing down. The distance between them is tiny, so tiny that sometimes, Tenn's sleeve brushes against Izumi's jacket (and both pretend they haven't noticed). They're almost alone: they barely meet anyone, and the few coming the other way are too busy to pay them attention. It feels like they're in their own world, which is nice.

It's the first time they're that close, without anybody getting in their way; even their phone calls, when Riku leaves the room, don't feel as intimate as this very moment.

Tenn realizes he could relate his whole life to Izumi, if he was willing to listen; the other could say anything, without filters, forgetting about his pride and dignity. He lowers his head. He's certain Izumi doesn't want this, though.

He has no idea where the Izumi house lies, but he thinks it's not that far from Gaku's restaurant. For now, they're heading in the same direction.

Izumi finally breaks the silence. "I've always wondered, Nanase-san..."

He doesn't finish his question, so Tenn gives him a cue. "You wondered?"

Maybe it's because of this intimate atmosphere, but Izumi looks so vulnerable, as if he was about to break. "Why are you interested in me? I mean... isn't it because of Riku-san? I fail to see any other good reason."

The night air is freezing Tenn sees small clouds appearing when he answers: "And I believe you lack self-confidence, Izumi."

"Wha—"

"You obviously fail to see how interesting _you_ are. Of course, I would be lying if I said I never wanted to find out why you were friends with Riku, but I wouldn't have talked to you if I wasn't intrigued by you."

Izumi's arm bumps into him. "I don't understand what you want from me, Nanase-san."

Tenn chooses not to answer.

Not because he doesn't want to tell Izumi; oh no, he really does. Tenn wants to tell him how enthused he is about his secret quest of revealing Izumi Iori's true self.

Izumi's kind heart, laying behind a mask of toughness; him being hard-working, diligent, helpful; how cute he is when he goes to pieces, even though it usually means he can't accept himself and it's so sad.

Tenn wants to say everything.

But Izumi isn't looking at him, and Tenn wonders if he's the only one who feels this closeness. If it's an illusion of his mind, he should keep his thoughts to himself, for fear of scaring Izumi away.

He knows where they stand: they're not quite friends, but they feel more at ease with each other. They're in-between, maybe not special to one another, but different for sure.

He smiles. "I don't wish to get between Riku and you."

Tenn knows Riku would be glad if the two of them could become friends, and it's not like he doesn't want to, honestly. But there's this familiarity between Izumi and Riku that he can't deny it: they look like brothers, even though their faces are nothing alike and their personalities are polar opposites; they look like two people who would die for each other. Tenn isn't jealous, no; he will settle for a simple friendship, that's all.

... But why can't he say it?

Why can he claim he wants to treasure Izumi's bond with his brother, but not that he'll be satisfied with something so _cheap_?

Izumi sighs.

His expression is exactly the same as the one he wears when Riku annoys him; he looks irritated, maybe even pissed, and Tenn finds him scarier than he thought possible.

"Honestly, I've had enough of both of you."

_... He's way too scary._

"Your faces don't look alike and your behaviours are quite different, but I guess you are still twins, eh. You both want to sacrifice yourself for each other. It's amusing, but at the same time really unnerving." His voice turns icy. "Don't you think I'm 100% capable to take care of the both of you?"

Tenn keeps quiet. He's usually the one who lectures others, but now the rules have changed.

Izumi is the one who is giving him a speech. He doesn't seem to be angry at the twins, rather at something they don't realize and he can't help but see. (Admittedly, being on the other end isn't pleasant. At all.)

"Listen, Nanase-san, when I ask you what _you_ want, I don't expect you to turn our conversation to Riku-san? Oh, and what should I say about your habit of ignoring me when you think you're imposing? If you see me, go ahead, say hello; I don't mind. We're in the same club, we have exchanged contact numbers, we are talking on a regular basis, what are you waiting for? I won't pretend I don't know you?"

Tenn restrains himself for retorting Izumi never greets him, in fact. He has never seen Izumi like that, so _fed up_ , and he's concerned about him. Too concerned to actually wonder if they're friends or not. Izumi hasn't used the word, he's well placed to understand it doesn't mean they're not.

"And Riku-san!" Now Izumi sounds even more exasperated. As an outside witness, he must find their relationship unbearable. "This idiot doesn't know how to be mad at someone, and yet he still tries to be cold to you! Even though he's still beaming each time you talk to him!"

_Then he must have learned how to hide his joy_ , Tenn thinks, as it doesn't show a lot.

"He's suffering because he's too stubborn to understand you don't see things the same way he does. I promised him not to tell you anything, but to be honest, I'm starting to think this is a waste of my time. Why would he act cold when he's happy for me—" Izumi seems to realize what he's just said, and he coughs, trying to give an impression of composure. He's very cute.

"A-anyway, he's glad we're becoming friends. Do you know why?"

Tenn shakes his head.

"He knows what kind of person you are, Nanase-san. Nothing makes him happier than seeing the two people he loves the most getting closer."

Something's wrong in this sentence, though Tenn can't point out what is amiss. He only feels Izumi's discomfort, and he's sure he's hiding something. Well, the other male does hide a lot of stuff, after all.

Still, Tenn nods (he's not sure his voice would work fine if he tried to answer right now).

"Nanase-san. It's time for you to talk to your brother." Izumi stands before him, forcing him to stop too. He draws his face closer to Tenn's, so close his breath brushes his cheeks. "I know you enough to tell you don't understand Riku-san's problem. You probably haven't realized anything. Riku-san is aware of this, but he's hurt. You're both hurt, I think."

Tenn finally recovers his voice. "I'm sorry for him. I'll talk to him."

Izumi relaxes.

"Fine, but don't ask tonight. He deserves to be left alone and to enjoy his evening." His hand straightens Tenn's chin up; the gesture isn't tender, but it's still comforting and Tenn lets him do it. "Tomorrow, or the day after. As you wish. The sooner the better, though. Tell him you're ready to listen to him. To hear his side of the story."

Tenn whispers: "What if he doesn't want to?"

Izumi wipes away any lingering doubts with a smile. "He won't reject you."

Tenn's heart leaps.

Izumi releases him, and they resume walking in complete silence.

Eventually, they need to part ways - ‘I know where you live, Nanase-san, so we should split up now’ - Tenn weakly waves at him in place of a goodbye.

He's used to challenges, never backs down until he reaches his limit, and he never regrets anything. Yet, when he looks at Izumi's back drifting away in the night, Tenn wonders what has changed. He's more fragile, he thinks; he has always been vulnerable, but never to this extent. He lost ground because he hurt Riku, he realizes, and even though he doesn't know how, the thought makes him sick.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

Riku comes home so late, his brother is too tired to make a comment.

Tenn crawled into his bed when he got back, and even though he wanted to sleep, he left the light on. He kept looking at his phone, almost tempted to call Izumi — but they just met so it would have been weird. As he didn't have anything to do, he killed time by reading their old text exchanges, at some point stalked Izumi's social media accounts (now that's a bad thing to do, but they are mutuals so he believes it’s kind of okay?), and ended up reading about Usamimi Friends while he barely knew it existed until a few minutes ago. When Riku opens the door of their bedroom, Tenn almost jumps.

"Oh, Tenn-nii! I'm sorry if I woke you," Riku says.

Tenn was awake but, to be honest, if Riku came like five minutes later, he might have fallen asleep.

"Don't worry, Riku. I was waiting for you to come home. Is it okay if I turn off the light now?"

"Yeah, sure. I can undress in the dark."

 

 

 

The next morning, Tenn couldn't find time to talk to him. When he gets up, Riku is sound asleep and he chooses to let his brother rest. He only tucks Riku's blanket that slid during the night, uncovering the redhead’s shoulders. Maybe Tenn is imagining things but Riku smiles when he does. Tenn leaves the house before Riku awakened. He has lessons in the morning and a meeting with his study group.

He sees Riku in the afternoon, muffled in a too big scarf, when his brother arrives on campus, but they don't have enough time to do more than greet each other with a smile. Riku's smile has this usual sadness and it breaks Tenn's heart. He can't help but think of what Izumi told him. _Talk to him._

Tenn comeshome after Riku, his nose was assaulted by the smell of fresh rice and fried tofu, and when he reaches the kitchen, his brother stands by the stove, smiling, telling him that he's almost done with dinner.

Now isn't the time for a serious talk, Tenn decides.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Tenn doesn't phone Izumi.

Tenn knows it won't bother Izumi who must be waiting for him to call when he's done with their problem, anyway, so it can wait. Now Tenn waits for Riku to finish his bath, apprehension twisting his stomach and his heart racing.

Once Riku enters the bedroom, Tenn doesn't call out to him right away. He watches him answering a text, taking books out from his bag, checking his schedule. All these small, familiar tasks ease Tenn. And, even though he wants to back off and wait for another moment — any other moment — he knows it can't wait anymore.

Now the time has come (and he's scared).

He stands up and stations himself in front of Riku's bed, tense, stiff as a board. His twin raises his eyes. "Tenn-nii?" His voice sounds weak and worried.

This is not a good start.

"Riku", he says, and then Tenn realizes he has no idea what to do next. It should be simple, he has already done this several times, but this time is harder than others. This time, he knows he has something to apologize about. "Riku, we need to talk."

Riku nods and motions him to sit next to his twin. Tenn complies.

None of them is ready for this. Without Izumi, they wouldn't even try. Because it's easier to pretend your brother needs time. Because it's easier to keep quiet and take it out on your twin. But then Izumi changed his mind. Maybe he changed Riku's too. How funny, Tenn thinks, that this guy is the one who puts them closer when he used to think the other was an obstacle.

His voice is soft when he says: "I'm so sorry, Riku. I know you're hurting. I know you're angry with me. The thing is... I don't know _why_ you are, and it makes me feel disgusted with who I am. With the kind of brother I am."

He tries his best not to lower his head, keeping his eyes fixed on Riku as proof he won't run away anymore. He's going to listen to the naked truth. He remembers the cold tip of Izumi's finger against his chin, the reminder he has no right to shirk from his responsibilities.

Tenn notices the tears forming in Riku's eyes, and he wants to wipe them away.

"Tenn-nii." He wants to hug him, to pat his head, to hold his hand. "I-I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't know what to do..."

He really wants to comfort his brother so he leans in. When he's sure Riku doesn't shy away, he wraps his arm around Riku's shoulders. "Shh, Riku. It's okay. I'm the one at fault, anyway."

Riku shakes his head.

"No, Tenn-nii, it's my fault too." It hurts. "I was upset you didn't notice anything. I knew you weren't guilty of what happened, and it was easier to pretend you were."

"Sorry."

It definitely sounds like Riku, though. Not knowing how to deal with his own feelings, and choosing to ignore them. However, Tenn never thought he would replace them with anger. He still has a lot to learn about his brother...

Riku looks on the verge of crying, fighting against the tears shining in his eyes. Tenn pats his back, slowly, waiting for him to open up, whenever he wants to.

"Hm, Tenn-nii... remember our freshman year?"

"Yes, of course."

"When I told you I... I wasn't sure of my choice anymore."

"... Yes." Tenn knew it was about that, but... "What did I do?"

Riku breathes in. "You tried to help. In your own way. You told me I shouldn't give up now, I should wait for a bit. You told me it was hard to get used to uni, even you were having troubles. So I shut up."

Tenn is almost afraid to ask: "And then you never asked me anymore?"

Riku laughs. "No, I didn't. I was convinced you would tell me I was being a child. The thing is, I was... kind of bullied, I guess."

Tenn's heart stops beating.

"What do you mean, Riku? Who bullied you?"

Riku lowers his head. "Hm, no, Tenn-nii, it's not what you think. I wasn't really picked on, but… there was... an incident."

"An incident?"

Riku nods. "It happened after summer break."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the cliffhanger, but the chapter was getting too lenghty and i needed a break!!  
> the first draft of chapter 4 is already half-written (after changing my plans at least 5 times lol) but i have exams coming up, so i don't think i'll be able to post anything until april... i'm so sorry..................


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY FOR THE DELAY, I was busy, then my beta was busy, things happened and I don't have any excuse. 
> 
> Lai helped a lot with everything related to asthma attacks, so any mistake are my responsability. So asthma attacks and reference to bullying (nothing explicit, I promise) in this chapter, it shouldn't be triggering, but just in case. This is the angsty part of the fic, as the rest should be more fluffy (or real cheese in my opinion). I hope you'll like it anyway! :)

Riku used to study literature as a major.

He made this choice because he loved books—no other reason. He didn't know what job he wanted to do. When they were younger, he claimed he wanted to become a doctor, but changed his mind after spending too much time at the hospital. At 17, he resolved to join the same university as his brother, who elected education as his major.

And at first, everything was fine. Riku’s lectures made him happy, and he worked even harder than Tenn. Listening to his baby brother excitedly talking about his lessons was endearing. Riku was radiant.

One day, Riku became more secretive, avoiding the topic of uni as much as possible. Until he refused to talk at all.

That's all Tenn knew about the situation.

At that time, it was obvious Riku wasn't feeling well. He once admitted he wasn't sure about his plans for the future. Tenn thought that he was referring to job hunting. Riku wished to change his major, but he didn't believe he could find something he would enjoy as much as literature.

Tenn tried his best to advise him, but he couldn't relate to his situation and in the end, his words sounded hollow. All he could do, when Riku confided in him, was to reassure him, saying it wasn't too late for him to try something else—and that he shouldn't take others' disapprobation into account. Tenn even searched online testimonies in the hopes of helping his beloved brother.

Riku doesn't need to remind him of all this, as Tenn couldn't forget. He often wishes he could have done more for Riku. But he knows he already did his best.

"The truth is, there were some guys who didn't like me much. The feeling was mutual, anyway. They were bitter because they couldn't enter their first-choice university, so they took their frustration out on others."

Tenn can't say he's surprised. People like that are not hard to find. They're like the plague, making life difficult for their entourage.

"Then there was also this girl who was always alone. She was kind of a nerd, talking about her 2D _husbandos_ and anime, so they kept making fun of her. But you know, I couldn't take it anymore and I stood up for her."

While Tenn is proud of his twin, he understands why it wouldn't go well. Riku is too cute, too innocent to be taken seriously by that kind of individuals.

"They began mocking me. But they left her alone, so I didn't care."

_No, you cared_ , Tenn figures, but he doesn't correct his brother.

"That's when... it happened." Riku inhales, slowly, before going on. "I was in the same workgroup as some of those guys. We were supposed to meet. Of course, I didn't want to, but it's not like I had a choice, so I went."

Tenn's heart is already sinking.

"When I arrived, they kept me out for several minutes. I could hear them behind the door, though. I had to ring the bell without a break for them to finally open. They weren't very happy about it, and they glared daggers at me."

Tenn doesn't know when it happened exactly, but last fall was cooler than usual, so there was a chance Riku was already cold. Combine that with the stress he must have suffered from, Tenn has an inkling of what had happened.

"But we went to work and everything went well." Riku's voice is neutral, Tenn doesn't know how he manages to repress his emotions. "I did most of the work, but it was fine with me, it was interesting. When we were done, I wanted to go home. They told me it was a shame, that I should hang out with them and... before I could say anything, I was out with them."

Riku didn't know how to say no. But even if he did, how do you reject a whole group when you're alone and scared of them?

"They kept poking fun of me, because I was wearing a huge scarf and they were like, _are you a grandpa?_ I didn't want to tell them I had asthma, it felt wrong. I was afraid they would take advantage of it if they knew."

_That's why I tell you to be careful when you go out_. Tenn thinks, but he can't blame Riku. For sure, he didn't have much of a choice.

"At nightfall, I wanted to go home. I told them you would be worried. They snatched my phone from my hand and told me they would give it back later."

Now that he thinks about it, there was an evening when Riku was late. Tenn was worried, but he figured his twin has forgotten to let them know he was out. That was the day...

"That day you had an attack," Tenn recalls.

Riku nods, looking relieved his brother finally remembers.

"I did. I was so stressed out and the cold didn't help at all. My arms were trembling, my inhaler fell on the floor and none of those idiots thought of picking it up." He then laughs. "They freaked out, though. Now I find it funny, because they couldn't even do anything."

" _Riku_."

"I know, Tenn-nii, I could have died. But a passer-by helped me, so all's end that ends well, right?"

Tenn stares at Riku. He knows how strong Riku is, for being able to easily smile when he had to overcome so many obstacles. Riku is impressive, and it's no wonder everyone loves him. But sometimes, it is disconcerting to hear him acting as if his own health wasn't that important.

Tenn remembers that one time he asked Riku to stop dancing, as he was worried it could threaten his health. Riku replied: "I won't stop, Tenn-nii, not until my last breath". It was, truly, the most frightening thing Riku ever said.

"But you know, at that time, I was really scared. I thought they hadn't helped me because they didn't want to. I was afraid they would still pick on me even if I were to die. They didn't care if I died. Can you imagine how I felt?"

Tenn shakes his head. He may understand a few things, but he can't relate to his brother's feelings. He doesn't know what it means, not being able to breathe. He can only watch and try to support him, but he's not the one who might lose his life. Sometimes, he fears protecting Riku isn't enough.  He constantly wonders, _why Riku, why not me_. Things would have been easier if he was the one with asthma.

"Then when I got home..."

"I scolded you." Because Tenn thought Riku was wandering outside, not taking care of himself. He got mad. Now Tenn understands.

"I thought, _Tenn-nii won't support me_. I waited for you to notice something was off, to comfort me like you always did. But you didn't."

Now his breath becomes shaky, and Tenn’s grip on Riku’s arm tightens. He knows this could trigger an attack. Riku deeply breathes in and out, lowering his shoulders as much as possible. When he finally calms down, he looks at Tenn with reassuring eyes.

Tenn realizes how affected Riku was by this whole incident. Because of a single misunderstanding; sure, Tenn is able to read his brother, most of the time, but he has missed the one thing Riku was afraid of, Riku never found the strength to tell him. They were both stupid, he thinks, dramatically stupid.

"Fortunately, when I went to school the day after, they ignored me, and I did the same. In the end, I was shunned by my whole school year. I don't know what they said, but nobody wanted to spend time with me after that."

Riku bits his lip. "It was unfair of me to expect you to notice. I thought that I was cold to you, you would take the bait and ask. But you didn't, and I was upset at you. For nothing. I'm sorry, Tenn-nii..."

Tenn tried his best to keep his arms on Riku's arms, not willing to disturb him. He can't refrain himself anymore. He pulls his twin into a crushing hug, and Riku lets out a small cry of surprise.

"What are you saying, Riku?! I believed you needed time alone instead of helping you! I'm the one who should apologize!"

Riku giggles. "No, Tenn-nii, it's me."

"No, Riku, me."

"Me."

It feels good, to banter like this. To shorten the physical and emotional distance between them. And now, Tenn is on the verge of crying. He doesn't, though, as he fears Riku would break too.

Yet they're not done with the serious talk, so Tenn releases him and looks him straight in the eye.

"From now on, Riku, if there's anything bothering you, you tell me. I'm not a psychic, I can't guess what you think, and I don't know how to react. Open up! You know I won't judge you."

It's his job, as an older brother.

But then, he realizes, they're twins, and maybe Riku wants to protect him, too. That's why he adds: "And if I have a problem, I'll tell you to."

"Pinky promise?"

If Gaku was the one to ask this, Tenn would tell him to shut up with his dumb ideas. But it's Riku, so he raises his hand anyway. "Yeah, pinky promise."

Riku finally smiles again.

His smile is beautiful. It looks like a ray of sun after the rain, something pure and yet powerful enough to sweep anyone off their feet.

"But, Tenn-nii?"

"Yes?"

"... Iori was the one who ordered you to ask me, wasn't he?"

Well, _order_ is a bit strong. But it's true Tenn felt _compelled_ to act now. Riku sees right through him, and it's embarrassing. He can't lie, so he only nods, a slight blush high on his cheeks.

Riku's smile widens.

"Thought so. He also told me to stop being a child," he pouts, "how mean!"

"We don't deserve a friend like him," Tenn remarks.

"No, we don't," Riku approves. "But I'm glad I met him. And, Tenn-nii... you know, I'm also glad you like him. At first, I thought you would tell him off and never accept him."

Tenn looks away. Riku isn't wrong, at first, he was sure he would hate Izumi, as the younger boy was annoying and dull. Because of jealousy, in truth.

Now he's grateful to Izumi, for helping his brother when he needed someone, for taking care of him when Tenn couldn't do it himself. For pushing Tenn on the right track, when the twins' problem wasn't even his business, to begin with.

"I hold him dear," Tenn says, but he feels it's an understatement.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

> _Tenn: I made up with Riku_

_> Gaku: you did?? _

_> Gaku: it was about time, I was missing the kid_

_> Ryuu: I’m so glad, Tenn!! Congrats!!_

_> Gaku: Tell us what happened!_

_> Tenn: … No_

_> Tenn: you don’t deserve to hear the story, Gaku_

Tenn can’t help but grin from ear to ear. He then closes the group chat, switching for another thread.

_> Tenn: Thank you very much, Izumi Iori_

The other boy doesn’t answer in the next few hours.

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

When Tenn wakes up, Izumi still hasn't replied.

Disappointment squeezes his heart.

When Riku greets him with a loud "Good morning, Tenn-nii!" His face cheerful and relieved, so Tenn soon forgets about Izumi's lack of reaction.

Riku doesn't hug him like he used to when they were younger. He awkwardly pats his brother's shoulder, before announcing: "I prepared breakfast. Let's go eat, Tenn-nii!"

Tenn yawns, checking his alarm clock. "When did you wake up, Riku? It's barely 7 am."

The sky, behind the curtains, is still dark—it's already winter, after all.

"Relax, Tenn-nii," Riku eludes. "Let's go now before it gets cold! Mom and dad are already eating."

Tenn follows him downstairs, leaving his phone behind him. Otherwise, he knows he will be tempted to check his notifications.

When he enters the kitchen, he gasped at the table. Riku has made a lot of pancakes—not only that, they look tasty, even though Riku's pancakes never rivalled Tenn's. It's even more surprising when you know they usually eat leftovers or toasts for breakfast, except when their parents are home and they have the time to cook.

"Riku," he whispers, " _when_ did you wake up?"

Riku looks away, but he's definitely proud of himself. "Listen, Tenn-nii, I took the time to read the recipe again and to be extra careful. Who cares when I woke up?"

Tenn sighs, but lets it go and sits down. Cooking is fine, actually. As their parents are never home, they had to learn—or, rather, Tenn had to learn. At first, he was reluctant to let Riku come near the stove, but then he realized he didn't have a choice. Sometimes, he couldn't cook for him, so Riku had to do it himself. Tenn figured it was best if he could teach him before it was too late and Riku ended up in the hospital for another reason than his asthma. Of course, he's still clumsy, so Tenn can't help but worry, but he's now a decent cook.

"He's right, Tenn," his mom interrupts, handing him a plate. "Your brother wanted to be nice. I didn't hear you thank him."

Tenn turns his head to his twin. "Thank you, Riku."

Their parents don't always understand what happens between the two of them. Unfortunately, they don't have the time to pay them enough attention to realize how strained their relationship was. But Tenn is sure they already know their sons made up. The way they look at them, with relief and happiness, is proof enough.

They barely spend time together outside breakfast—as a true family. Sometimes, Tenn wonders if their parents have regrets. Though right now, they're enjoying the present time, as Riku does. They're cherishing this instance, not worrying about the next moment. When he leaves home, he's going to miss them.

When they're done eating, Tenn insists on doing the dishes alone. Their parents need to leave for work, and Riku has already done his part. His twin sits close to him, staring at him while Tenn washes the pans.

"Do you have lessons today, Tenn-nii?"

"Only morning lessons," he answers. Tenn's fortunate his schedule is so convenient; it allows him to have more free time for training and studying. And for chores too, maybe.

"Same as us! We were supposed to have a lecture in the afternoon, but it was cancelled."

The question lies in the air. Tenn hears it, even though Riku hasn't said anything.

_Do you have plans, or do you wish to spend time with me?_

"I'll go home as early as I can," he promises, "and after lunch, how about going out, you and I? We could watch a movie or go to the bookstore."

Riku's face lightens up. "Good idea, Tenn-nii! I'd love to!"

"Then it's settled." _I'm spoiling him_ , Tenn thinks. But his brother sure deserves to be spoiled, so it's okay.

 

 

However, after lunch, they had to change their plans when Tenn's phone buzzes. When he sees who sent the message, his chest tightens with expectation.

"It's Izumi." He whispers, unable to refrain himself from reading his text right away.

Riku is right before him, finishing his own meal, and he sees Tenn frown when he finishes reading. "What does he say?" he asks, curious.

"He wants to meet me this afternoon. But we already made plans..." Tenn doesn't want to leave his brother alone. Not when they just reconciled. He was _looking forward_ for their outing. On the other hand, he kind of really wants to meet Izumi, too. Like, really _really_.

Riku grins. "Then go. It's okay, we can still spend time together this evening."

"But..."

"Tenn-nii, he's the one who helped us, right? You should thank him in person."

Riku has a point, but Tenn isn't totally convinced. "Shouldn't you come with me, at least? I'm sure Izumi won't mind."

For some reason, Riku starts laughing. "Oh, I'm sure he'll mind if I tag along! But don't tell him about our plans, please."

Tenn wants to argue more, but there's something, in Riku's eyes—a glint of knowledge his twin doesn't want to share with him. Tenn thinks the other knows Izumi better than him, anyway. So, the older twin gives up. "Fine, but only since it's okay with you."

Riku winks—or, rather, he tries to, since he's not good at winking at all, and ends up closing his two eyes at the same eyes. "Good luck, Tenn-nii!"

... What for?

 

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

Izumi asked him to meet him at a cake shop—not the Izumi owned one, which is a bit disappointing, but he guesses his friend isn't comfortable bringing him home for now. When Tenn pushes the door, he's welcomed by a flowery, cute place that must be designed for girls. But Izumi told him _the cakes here are to die for,_ so who cares about the little doilies and the small figurine of a cat on the window right next to their table?

Tenn lets the other choose their drink and cake—green tea with a chocolate dome, not a bad choice—before telling him everything that happened. Izumi listens to him in silence, only nodding from time to time. When Tenn is done talking, he looks like at him like a proud father would—and Tenn's heart starting racing.

"And now you're reconciled with your brother. Congratulations, Nanase-san. I figured it would take you more time, though." He sounds almost teasing.

Tenn tries not to let this bother him. He instead lowers his head: "Thanks a lot for everything you did, Izumi. Riku and I owe you a lot."

As expected, Izumi blushes. "Uh, no, not really. I was only tired of seeing you struggling is all."

He sounds annoyed, and if Tenn didn't know him better, he'd believe him. But his pink cheeks, the way he stares away when Tenn sets his eyes on him, the light quivering of his fingers holding the fork give him away.

Tenn smirks. "Then maybe I should find something to repay you...?"

Izumi still doesn't look at his face. "Baby pics."

"... Uh?"

"... It was a joke, Nanase-san." Of course, it was, but Tenn is 100% sure Izumi wouldn't mind getting baby pictures of Riku. And maybe of him, too, as he was quite cute when he was a child. He suspects him of being the type of guy who would make a collection out of all the pics of Riku he can gather.

Well, sending baby pics is very _shoujo-_ ish, if you ask him, but he wouldn't be surprised to hear that Izumi is fond of that kind of mangas.

"No, you had a great idea, Izumi. I'll send you some and I'll comment them for you."

Teasing Izumi Iori is too easy, Tenn thinks, as Izumi stammers: "N-no, please... don't... it was a joke..."

Tenn doesn't dislike this Izumi. He's different from his usual self, always so poised and in control. To be fair, it is quite irritating when the younger boy acts all repressed, as if he truly was this perfect student and nothing else. But Izumi Iori can also get flustered, and unsure of what to do; because he's insecure, because he's also only human.

"But you like that kind of things, don't you?" Tenn asks, his voice soft and low. "Cute things."

Izumi drops his forks. "I don't know what you're talking about," and his tone is strained, it's obvious he is lying.

So Tenn leans over, his head closer to Izumi's, his lips brushing past his ear. "Don't worry", he whispers, "I won't tell anyone a thing. I'll carry this secret to the grave."

And he's close enough to detect a hint of perfume, an unexpected scent of bath soap, so light it has almost faded.

When he backs away, his smile is fond and delicate. "That being said, I don't think you should be ashamed of that. You're quite cute yourself."

In any other circumstance, Tenn would never confess he actually finds Izumi cute—even though it's true. It's endearing to look at him, as endearing as watching your kouhai can be, and maybe in another way too. He believes the timing is right, though; it can pass as a mere joke, nothing serious. Otherwise, Tenn would be the one with the worst blush.

Izumi coughs. "Nanase-san, please refrain yourself from saying such embarrassing words. You don't even think them."

He does, but he knows that if he opens his mouth right now, things are going to get _too_ awkward.

For a few minutes, neither of them say a thing. Izumi finishes his cake, while Tenn absent-mindedly plays with his fork. He likes sweets, but there's something fascinating in watching the way Izumi eats—slow and careful—which stops him from eating himself.

"Ah, that's right, Izumi." He puts the fork down, not interested in his delicious slice of cake for now. "I was quite surprised to hear you wanted to meet me. I thought you had enough of me with our nightly calls."

There's no teasing tone in his voice, he's genuinely curious. They barely know how to strike a conversation, most of the times, although it is easier on the phone (he doesn't know why). The sense of intimacy he felt the last time they were together has long since vanished, and now there's only awkwardness left.

But, Tenn believes, they're getting closer, slowly but surely, and at this point, they can say they are friends. And he really likes Izumi Iori. Sure, being with him is tiring, but in a good way. Izumi brings him out of his comfort zone, forces him to fight his loneliness. This never happened with Gaku or Ryuu, who were nice but maybe pushy, who just let him be, without trying to change him. Izumi hides his wish to be friends a little better than them, because he's used to denying his own feelings, but he wants the best out of him. He wants Tenn to be proud of who he is, of his twin brother, and it's... unexpectedly nice.

How can you _not_ like Izumi Iori? he wonders.

"Well, you barely take the initiative, Nanase-san," Izumi says, and Tenn blinks.

"Were you waiting for me to ask you out?"

"Of course not!" Izumi looks almost offended, as if he couldn't believe what Tenn is implying. "What I was saying is, you're letting me take the lead most of the time, Nanase-san. But I guess you haven't realized that yet."

He hasn't.

But it's true. Izumi was the one who reached out first, getting his number from Riku, calling him again and again, saying hello first, pointing out when Tenn was ignoring him... _Wait, isn't he doing all the work?_ Tenn wonders, and he shoots a startled glance at him.

"Wow, you're right. I owe you even more than I thought." He then adds, malicious: "Shall I add some pics from when we were kids?"

"Nanase-san!"

Tenn bursts out laughing, and Izumi soon follows him.

_I like being with him_ , the thought dawns on him and he isn't sure if it's a good thing.

When they calm down, they start talking about other topics, such as the university, dreams for the future, or the last cake Izumi Mitsuki baked—it was to die for, according to his little brother. Time flies so fast, and their cakes were long finished when Tenn's phone buzzes and he picks it up.

Riku asks him to invite Izumi for dinner, as _mom and dad won't be home until late_ , he explains, and _I prepared enough food for five_. Somehow, Tenn feels Riku was planning this when he pushed him into going out with Izumi.

He lends his phone to Izumi when their friend declines. _Come on, Iori, don't be shy! I know you want to know how I cook!,_ he hears Riku's voice nagging Iori from the receiver, and he's not surprised to see Izumi give up.

When he gives Tenn his phone back, Izumi's definitely blushing.

"Don't worry, you're not imposing." Tenn reassures him. "Besides, it's not like you can refuse him anything, right?"

Izumi shoots him a dirty look. "No, you're the one who can't, you brocon."

_Brocon?!_ "You're one to talk, Izumi. Should I remind you of your little obsession with Mitsuki-san?"

They're both serious, and yet it feels nice again. Tenn is kind of used of bickering as proof of affection—this is how Gaku and he work, after all. He's not used, however, to this fluffy feeling in his chest, to the way he wants to laugh even though he's truly offended by Izumi's claims.

They argue throughout the bus ride until they finally reach the Nanase house, and Izumi freezes.

Tenn unlocks the door. When they get inside, Izumi sticks close to him, his eyes fixed on him, as if he was afraid of looking around. Tenn, who is still a bit upset at him, grins. "It isn't your first time coming here, isn't it? Are you so afraid of tasting Riku's cooking?"

Izumi draws away. "Of course not, Nanase-san." He answers. His voice dry—but he still looks like a frightened animal. Tenn tries his best not to chuckle.

He grasps the hem of Izumi's sleeve, leading him to the kitchen. Riku is there, wearing a red and white apron, with a cute strawberry on it, and Tenn doesn't miss Izumi's small gasp when he sees the outfit.

"Welcome back, Tenn-nii! Iori, you too!"

Tenn doesn't have the time to greet him back.

"Riku-san," Izumi says, dumbfounded, "when you told me you were cooking... you were serious?"

Well, did he think Tenn would lie, too? It's true Riku is clumsy and awkward, so people don't expect him to be able to make anything but simple meals—or not at all. Therefore, Izumi's astonished face is a great reward, and Tenn adds it in his mental list of why Riku is the best brother you can have.

Riku, however, frowns. "Of course, I was! Why, Iori, do you think I'm a bad cook! I'm almost as good at Tenn-nii!"

It is clear Izumi doesn't believe him, and Tenn can't blame him. At first, Riku _was_ a disaster, and it took Tenn all his self-control not to ban him from the kitchen. "You heard him, Izumi. Anyway, Riku, do you need help?"

"Nope, I'm almost done. Ah, you can set the table if you want."

Tenn nodding, goes to the sink to wash his hands. Behind him, Izumi stands still, not knowing what to do, so when the older twin takes the plates out of the cupboard, he suggests. "If you need to go to the bathroom, it's down the hall, second door to the left."

Izumi seems to regain his senses.

"Oh, right. The bathroom. Sorry for the intrusion." And he leaves them, relieved by the opportunity.

Riku then turns over to him. He looks too thrilled by the situation, it's truly concerning. "So, Tenn-nii, how was your date?"

When Riku stares at him with excitement in his eyes, it sounds like he's talking about a _romantic_ date. It wasn't one, of course. No way Tenn would ever date someone who called him _a brocon._

"It was very nice, and I still think you should have come, too."

A part of Tenn's mind thinks he shouldn't see Izumi without his brother. It's a stupid thought, but it does feel wrong. Izumi has made it clear he was okay with splitting his time between them, but in the end, he's Riku's friend before being Tenn's. What kind of brother was he if he starts spending time with the one guy who's really close to Riku? If, because of him, Riku can't hang out with his best friend?

And even if Izumi wants to see him, wouldn't he enjoy his company more if it was the three of them together?

Riku shakes his head. He looks disappointed. "I told you he would mind. And I was careful when I cooked, so don't be mad at me, Tenn-nii!"

"I'm not. I only worry about your safety."

"You are worried _and_ mad, don't lie." Turning his attention over his pot again, he adds: "Just so you know, I'm okay with sharing Iori with you."

"... We can't share a person, Riku. He belongs to no one but himself."

He's sure Riku is pouting, right now. "You're not funny, Tenn-nii!" He sounds amused, though.

Isn't it weird, to be able to talk to Riku like before? Oh, they're still careful around each other. As if they were afraid their words can hurt the other—and maybe these words still own this harmful power, and they have to be cautious. They can't pretend nothing happened, and it saddens Tenn.

But all of this was a misunderstanding, so now they should try to communicate more, try to be more aware of each other, as they now know how easy it is to wound someone you love.

"Why do I have the feeling you know something I don't, Riku?" he jokingly asks, and Riku answers, like a child lost in his own world.

"Because I do!"

Tenn wonders if he isn't missing something.

"Sorry for making you two wait." Izumi says as he walks back into the kitchen, stopping their conversation.

He freezes when he sees the stew pot Riku brings on the table.

"Wow," he lets out—and Tenn feels proud of his brother.

The twins exchange a look before sitting down opposite one another. Izumi chooses the closest chair, with Riku on his left and Tenn on his right.

Without a word, Tenn starts to serve them.

"I must be dreaming." Izumi mutters. "This is way too domestic."

Riku laughs. "Didn't I tell you I'd make a great husband?"

"Huh?" Tenn almost drops the ladle, and sauce halls off Izumi's plate. He glowers at their friend. "Husband? Izumi Iori, care to explain?"

Izumi holds his gaze. "I don't understand why you're getting carried away, Nanase-san. Were you, perhaps, thinking about me marrying your brother? Because there's no way it's going to happen. Riku-san was only bragging about his home skills, is all."

Still. Insecurity twists Tenn's stomach. This thought is stupid too, because he's not jealous, and who said he would approve of them.

(Of course, he would. He saw them. Saw how they suit each other.)

Meanwhile, Riku cracks up, unable to stop himself. "You're both impossible, haha! I can't believe it! Hahaha!"

Izumi eventually averts his eyes. "Whatever. Let's dig in."

For a few minutes, they don't talk at all. Riku being too busy laughing, the other two focused on their meals. Then Izumi admits the stew is better than he thought, which probably means it's tasty. So, Tenn doesn't fail to compliment Riku's meal, keeping his own remarks for later.

When Izumi and his brother start chatting again, Tenn finds out he wasn't quite right about their relationship. Yes, they're made for each other, but they also quarrel a lot. It puts him into an uncomfortable position, as he doesn't know which side to take. Should he support Riku, his beloved brother, even when he's wrong, or should he back Izumi as he agrees with him most of the time?

"I'm sorry, Riku-san, but you're too naive to understand. Idols smile because that's their job."

" _You_ don't understand, Iori. If they're not happy on stage, how can they make other people happy too?"

Wait, why are they discussing about idols, now? There must be something he has missed. The only idol-related thing he knows is that Izumi Mitsuki wanted to become one but failed all his auditions. (Tenn will never tell Izumi that his big brother still doesn't dance very well. At least, not enough for being a pro. But he guesses it would be rude to point this out.) Otherwise, Tenn doesn't know much about idols, so he has no idea how to keep up with this conversation.

"It's easy to fake happiness." Izumi insists.

Tenn finishes his plate while they're arguing. His eyes fall on Izumi, who doesn't look as calm as usual. His eyes squinting, his hair falling before his face while he shakes it, his lips shutting close when he listens to Riku's retorts, but opening again to cut him out. This is a fascinating view, Tenn realizes. So, fascinating he wishes dinner lasts longer.

Then a coughing fit breaks their rhythm, and Izumi gets up as soon as he hears it, taking Tenn by surprise. Their guest dashes behind Riku, puts his ear against the other’s back, checking the lungs and the sound of his breathing. When Izumi stands up, he asks: "Nanase-san, did something go down the wrong way?"

Riku has stopped coughing, and he seems apologetic. "I'm sorry, Iori! I was clumsy..."

"... Really now." Izumi sighs, but goes back to his seat without a word.

Tenn hasn’t moved an inch, too dazed to act, merely watching the two of them. His chest hurts. He wonders, if, somehow, Izumi will replace him who was next to Riku.

 

 

 

After dinner, the twins see Izumi out.

The younger boy bows his head as a way of thanks. "You're a nice cook, Riku-san. Not as good as Nii-san, of course, but you can hold your own."

"Iori!" Riku shouts, and they start bickering again, though not loud, as to not disturb the neighbourhood.

Again, Tenn feels left out, but he keeps quiet and observes them. They remind him of his own friends, and for a moment he wishes they were there—yes, even Gaku who would probably accuse him of being jealous and mock him. Right now, seeing his new friend and his twin brother teasing each other pains him.

Then Izumi gets close to him.

"Thank you for our date, Nanase-san." Tenn blinks, too surprised to react.

Why does everyone call their outing a _date?_ Yes, you can have dates with your friends, but suddenly, Tenn understands why he's bothered by the word.

He looks away.

"My pleasure, Izumi." His voice sounds bland.

Izumi doesn't say anything else.

As he disappears in the dark streets, Tenn turns to his brother. "Can I ask you something?"

Riku nods. "Sure."

Asking this is difficult, but he knows he doesn't have a choice. He needs to know. "Is there something between you and him?"

Riku doesn't answer right away, taking the time to close the door before replying. "No, there isn't. I thought it was obvious."

He doesn't move from the hall, waiting for Tenn to say something. Maybe he knows, Tenn realizes, but it's more likely he doesn't, and only wants them to be friends. There's no way he noticed Tenn's feelings when they were at odds. And Riku isn't perceptive at all, most of the time.

"Okay, I believe you." He merely says, climbing the stairs without looking behind him. Riku doesn't follow him.

He needs to get rid of this uneasiness in his chest. He can't... Even if Riku only sees Izumi as a friend, it doesn't matter.

He doesn't have any right to like Izumi Iori as he does.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of feedback on this work after the last update, in the comments or on discord. I want to say thank you to anyone who took the time to tell me they loved the fic, and also to all the readers who still follow this. As it is my most personal fic, it's incredible to discover someone is interested in what I'm doing.  
> Before I get to sappy, are you ready for cheese and light angst? :)

"You're in too deep, Tenn."

"Shut up, Gaku." Dropping his head on the coffee table, Tenn lets out a whine. "This is awful."

The whole situation is awful, and Tenn doesn't know how it happened. Somehow, Gaku, Ryuu and he ended up talking about his new-found attraction to Izumi Iori—which was the one subject he didn't want to approach at all, when he joined Ryuu's apartment for the evening. He was only there to make sure they don't drink too much, and if they don't listen to him, he had promised he will record everything so that he could embarrass them when they sober up. However, they started to talk about Riku and Izumi, and they manage to make him talk about his crush. And even _admit_ he has a crush.

_Friends are dangerous_ , he thinks, refusing to raise his head from the table.

"What _is_ awful," Gaku points out, "is how you're ruining the mood with your dumb feelings." He has already drunk two beers, but he's not wasted yet— _which is unfair_. Tenn only had juice, but he feels like his head is going to explode. "Izumi Iori, huh."

"What," Tenn snaps, too tired to deal with the other’s teasing.

"Well, your tastes are surprisingly good, Tenn. He's a nice kid, you know. Definitely out of your league."

Ryuu (who is definitely drunk but, somehow, still talks in standard Japanese) adds.

"Gaku, that's mean! You're supposed to be supportive!" He sounds amused.

"He won't even let me get close to his club's manager!" Gaku retorts. "Why should I support him?"

Tenn knows he's joking, but it makes him irritated. "You're too old for her. I am only a year older than him. Things are different here."

"She's 19, just like you, and you're not too young to be my friend."

"Yes, but it doesn't change the fact that you're old, Gaku."

"You little!" But then Gaku merely clears his throat, trying to calm himself down.  Tenn is a bit disappointed that he's not looking for a fight. "Anyway, don't try to change the subject. We're talking about you and Izumi-otouto."

"... You're the one who brought Takanashi-san up?"

"Stop it, you two!" As usual, Ryuu has to play as a mediator between the two of them. Even if he's already too drunk to do so. "And Tenn, stop banging your forehead on my table. You might break it."

Tenn hadn't realized he was hitting his head on the table. He straightens up, looking miserable. "Please, let's talk about something else."

He doesn't know what surprised him more: the fact that his two friends were able to tell he had a crush on Izumi, or that they already approved of them. _Bless them._ Even if Gaku is being a pain right now.

"Hell no," his friend says, Tenn seriously wants to punch him. "I mean, you, having feelings for someone? Do you know how long I waited for it to happen?" He laughs. "You're cute when you're in love, Tenn."

"Really cute," Ryuu approves. Tenn grabs his beanie before throwing it towards Gaku's face.

"You're so dead," he grumbles.

Not that it stops Gaku from laughing in his face. "Sure thing, Tenn. But before you try to kill us, make sure to confess Izumi. I'd hate to die from the hands of a coward."

_Ouch_. Gaku isn't mean, he's only too frank with him. But Tenn's blood runs cold—Gaku's eyes are set on him, telling him _I know you won't._ Tenn hates that he can't refute him. Because he's right: Tenn doesn't want to confess anything.

What does he have to say, anyway? That he likes Izumi? Then what?

He saw how Izumi looked at Riku. Maybe he doesn't have any romantic feelings for his younger twin, but when the other gazes at Tenn, his expressions don't have the same intensity at all—they're too guarded and neutral. Izumi's happy to see Tenn, but he's elated to keep Riku company.

He's not a coward: he only thinks he doesn't stand a chance. Izumi Iori obviously doesn't like him back.

He sighs. "Even if I do confess, it's not going to work."

He stands up, feeling dizzy. It's not like he hasn't thought of what could happen during the last few days. However, now is not the time for romance. Tenn isn't even sure of his own heart. He enjoys Izumi's company, feels slightly jealous when he thinks of his closeness to Riku, and is truly afraid of losing him. That's it.

"What if I don't really like him, though? What if I only see him as a friend?"

Gaku and Ryuu look at each other.

"He's kidding, right?" Ryuu asks, dumbfounded.

"No, he's just dumb. Leave him be." Gaku leans back against the sofa—he's not drunk, but he looks tired. Probably his new restaurant that drains him from his energy. It must be hard to start a business. "Anyway, there's no rush, Tenn. Take your time and ask him out again. To test the waters."

"Ask him on a _date_?" Tenn asks, suspicious. He still hasn't forgotten the look Riku gave him when he asked about their _"date",_ last time. Wait, for all he knows, maybe his little brother has noticed his crush too? _Great..._ "No way. And I shouldn't ask you for advice, you two are obviously too drunk."

"No, we're not." Gaku says, before turning to Ryuu. "We should do something for the brat's birthday."

"It's in July?"

"Yeah, but I'll definitely make him drink until he throws up."

"That's not going to happen." Tenn cuts them out, and he takes his phone out. "And if you don't calm yourself, I'll record you and send everything to Takanashi-san."

"You wouldn't dare."

But Gaku knows he would, so in the end, he leaves him alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things are still the same, between Izumi and him—and he doesn't know if he should be disappointed or not.

Admitting he has a crush to Ryuu and Gaku (or rather, admitting he can have feelings, which is something his friends didn't deem possible) won't make him change his behaviour around Izumi. He's still as cautious as ever, trying his best to act properly. Before, it was because of Riku, as it would have been rude to insult his best friend; now, he only wants to be liked by Izumi—even in a non-romantic way.

Where do these feelings come from, though? Why did he grow attached to him? Why not someone else?

But, how can you not like Izumi Iori? His eyes are cold, but when his pursed lips crack a smile, his face turns soft and fond—and Tenn loves it. He never knew a smile could change a face. And when Izumi stops laughing, all traces of warmth are gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Alright, Tenn-nii, we have a date for Christmas."

Tenn coughs up the water he was drinking.

Riku stands at the door of their room, his phone in hand, looking definitely too smug for Tenn's liking. He kind of hopes he hasn't called Gaku and Ryuu and talked about what he now regards as _"the cursed subject."_

Cautious, he repeats: "We?"

Riku nods before closing the door and sitting at his desk. "Yup. You. Me. And a third guest. Any idea who it could be?"

Tenn sighs. "Please, tell me you didn't ask your best friend to join us for a Christmas date."

Riku innocently asks: "Why?"

"It's for couples only." Well, of course, everybody can go out whenever they want to, but still...

Riku's amused stare tells him he's aware of that.

"I don't want to play the third wheel." Tenn softly protests. "You should go without me."

Riku shakes his head. "Nope, it's not going to happen. I'm taking the two of you with me, whether you like it or not."

Tenn is unable to say no to his brother.

When Izumi texts him next, he doesn't say anything, and Tenn is too tensed to bring the topic up with him. Riku is the only one who actually talks about it, though he refuses to reveal his plans. Tenn is a bit afraid of what's he preparing.

Fortunately, Tenn have other concerns, like his club activities—he has, somehow, become some sort of an unofficial second coach, meaning he has less time to train himself—or his assignments.

When he's with his work group, he can't help but remember what Riku revealed, and he feels a weight in the pit of his stomach.

Then he's done with all his work, and the club stops for the holidays, and he realizes he has a lot of free time now.

Riku is still busy with his plans, but refuses any kind of help, so Tenn doesn't insist. He doesn't want to see Gaku and Ryuu, as he's convinced, they were the ones who pushed Riku into this scheme—what awful friends, really. So, he spends a lot of time messaging Izumi, and phoning him at night.

Izumi works in his parents’ cake shop during the holidays, and Tenn almost asks him if he can come over. But then he deletes his message and types something else—he doesn't remember what exactly. Izumi doesn't invite him either, so he did the right thing, he guessed.

The 24th came too quick. When Tenn wakes up that morning, he feels like throwing up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They meet with Izumi at 4 pm, and Tenn, who was already kind of a mess after trying to find an outfit that would look nice but not _too_ nice—because, you know, it's not a romantic date and he doesn't want to impress Izumi _at all_ —almost loses his mind when his eyes fall on their friend.

Tenn has always found the other cute, somehow, but was never stricken down by Izumi's choice of clothing. It was bland, nothing disastrous—not that Tenn knows a lot about fashion, as he was often told his clothes were sometimes a bit lame, though he believes people use this adjective without thinking of its true meaning. Anyway, Izumi usually wears simple clothes, maybe a bit classier than his and Riku's. But now, he looks stunning.

Izumi left his black overcoat open, revealing a midnight blue turtleneck with silver lines. He has a white scarf wrapped around his neck, and white gloves on his hand—it's winter, of course he's wearing gloves, but the snowy fabric against his fingers, _damn_. His pants are black, fitted, so they shape his legs pretty well. Tenn's mouth is dry.

Then Izumi looks at him, too, and his stare lingers for maybe a little too long.

What a cliché way to start an outing.

Riku, completely unaware of the tension between them, takes both of their arm, his smile dazzling. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Riku-san," Izumi answers, his eyes avoiding Tenn when he adds: "Merry Christmas, Nanase-san."

Tenn doesn't answer, but it's not a problem as Riku goes on: "So do you know why I asked you to meet before a cinema?"

Izumi sighs: "To watch a movie?"

"Come on, Iori, if this was the answer, I wouldn't ask!" Riku let go of his arm before pointing his finger at the billboard. "Which movie do you think I chose?"

Both Tenn and Izumi look up to take note of the different films being projected. Tenn is sure his brother picked out a romance, but there are at least 5 of them on the board, and without the synopsis, it's kind of hard to imagine the plot. But one of them draws his attraction, as the girl is wearing a blue dress with a lot of ribbons, frills and furbelows, like the type of dress an idol would wear, while the guy looked like a prince.

He says, at the same time as Izumi: " _Dance Of Affection_?" He then stares at their friend, puzzled by their timing.

Riku pouts but claps his hands anyway. "I see, it was too easy for you."

A few minutes later, after buying some popcorn, the three of them reach the almost full projection room. Izumi checks the numbers on their tickets before heading for the right aisle. Riku went to follow on his heels and Tenn grabs his arm.

"Riku. You sit between Izumi and me."

Riku stares hard at him, then nods slowly, so Tenn releases him. It's better that way. Safer, actually. He wants to focus on the film, not worry about doing an indiscretion in front of his crush, please. Focus, and talk about the movie with Riku at the end.

Riku walks into the aisle, goes forward, stops right before his seat, dropping on the chair, his eyes on Tenn all the way.

Tenn loves his brother, he would fight the whole world for him, but sometimes Riku likes to test his patience, and he doesn't know how he manages to control himself when he sees Riku left him the middle seat.

"Tenn-nii!" His twin calls him, feigning ignorance. Tenn wonders where he learnt such mischief. _That's low, Riku._

Izumi keeps his head up to the screen, but he's listening for sure.

Tenn doesn't have a say in the matter, so he resigns to his fate and takes the middle seat. His heart race so quickly it could explode at any time.

It's not the first time he's that close to Izumi. He still remembers that night when his crush's fingers lingered on his chin, and that's definitely _not_ what he should be thinking of right now. He's over-conscious of Izumi's arm lying on the armrest and tries his best not to curl up in a vain attempt to avoid any accidental physical contact with him. When Riku hands him the popcorn, he takes it on his lap, feeling somehow protected by the bucket.

None of them talk until the movie begins.

The story is quite simple: two idols are in love with each other, but they can't date for fear of a scandal. It's cliché, not bad if you like cheesy romance. Tenn isn't that fond of the genre, but the actors are talented and their vocal performances were excellent. He soon forgets about Izumi and relaxes. Riku made the right choice: they don't have to talk at all and can ignore each other.

Tenn shoves his hand down on the bucket—or, at least, that's what he intended to do, but his hand hits what must be the edge of the bucket, but then it moves, and Tenn realizes it was actually Izumi's right hand, hovering over the bucket to get his share of popcorn.

He drops the bucket.

"Nanase-san," Izumi mumbles, low enough not to disturb the rest of the audience, "please be more careful."

Tenn almost hears him thinking _you act like your brother_. He was already embarrassed, but Izumi's comment makes him blush so hard he's thankful for his brother to choose a dark place for their meeting, as nobody can see his decline.

All of the popcorn is on the floor, so Tenn kneels down to gather it and folds up the bucket's edges before coming back to his seat, squeezing the proof of his crime against his belly.

He's unable to take an interest in the movie after that, even though he wants to know how it ends. Of course, the lovers will date, however, what truly matters is the way they overcome every obstacle they meet. To no avail: when he looks at the characters, he's reminded of Izumi and him, and he thinks their relationship wouldn't make a good plot at all.

When he thinks of their common friend, he is torn between by conflicting emotions. The beginning of a new love, of course; and a faint feeling of guilt, preventing him from doing anything. Tenn always saw himself as a fighter, because he is combative in almost everything he does. He's studious, hardworking, diligent, he's ready to take up any challenge. Any, except this one. He's afraid of getting close to others, he feels powerless when he needs to. The first time Gaku claimed they were friends, Tenn blatantly spat in the other’s face, accusing him of being delusional, and how could he say such embarrassing things, really, was he a girl or something—he was a bit extreme, now that he thinks about it.

Maybe that's why Riku pushes him towards Izumi without explaining his motives—he knows Tenn, knows he will deny his attraction and start avoiding Izumi.

He gazes at Izumi out of the corner of the eye. In the half-light, it's hard to make out his features, but it looks like his friend is looking at him, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh, and when she said she had received hate mail and she didn't look worried at all? As if it was normal! She was impressive!"

Riku can't hide his admiration for the movie's heroine. Izumi seems to share his opinion, even adding his own insights which are more developed than his brother's. Tenn is disappointed: here he thought he could get some support...

Riku's original plans were to find a free table at a café, after the film, and have a hot drink. However, as evening approaches, it's impossible, so they're sitting on a bench in the shopping mall, a can bought from a vending machine in hand. Surprisingly, Izumi chose black coffee, even though he definitely has a sweet tooth, but Tenn says nothing.

To tell the truth, Tenn hasn't opened his mouth a lot since they left the cinema, except for that one moment they had to decide what to do before dinner. Riku said he booked a table at a restaurant that is _nice and not too expensive_ (whatever he means) so Tenn is actually impressed by his little brother. He has grown up during the months they barely talked. At this very thought, he feels a lump in his throat.

Emptying his can before them, as he doesn't talk, he gets up to throw it away. The bin is ten meters away, a distance long enough for Tenn to allow himself a sigh.

At this pace, he will end up being the third wheel.

Now that he's 99% sure his brother tries to pair him up with Izumi, he wonders how Riku noticed, since he's not the most perspective. Why did he decide to help him? Tenn hopes he's not trying to make it up to him, because Tenn has already forgiven everything. It would be just like him.

Tenn is lucid and knows about his own value. He understands there's one fight he can't win over Riku: making others like him. Sure, Tenn has friends and people attracted to him, but that's because he's nice and calm. He's aware of his efforts, contrary to Riku who doesn't even try: he draws attention, attracting looks as the sun attracts sunflowers, with only a smile, only a gaze. Nobody hates him, except maybe people with a heart of stone—and even them would yield before Riku. As a result, it is hard to make an impression on Izumi when Riku is here—or, at least, that's how Tenn sees things. (And here he said he _didn't_ want to impress Izumi...)

He turns over to the two best friends. Riku is still talking, and Izumi... Izumi doesn't look at him. His eyes are straight on Tenn, and look away when they meet his.

Well, _maybe_ Izumi Iori is interested in him too. Tenn doesn't have any other choice but to believe it.

Tenn takes his seat next to Riku—and no, he hasn't made the same mistake twice, so his twin is between Izumi and him. He decides to try again, to join the conversation, and he asks the only question he can ask without knowing how the film ended. "So, in your opinion, how was the movie?"

Riku is too excited for his own good. "It was great! There were action and suspense, I had no idea how it would end!"

"Me neither." Tenn half-confesses.

Izumi shrugs. "Then you're a bit naive, both of you. The ending was quite obvious." Then, lowering his voice: "Still, it was better than I figured."

After a while, Tenn understands enough of the plot to keep up with the discussion. He has almost forgotten about his dark thoughts when Riku jumps on his feet.

"Sorry, guys, but we need to go right now! If there's a crowd around, we'll be late..."

Izumi mutters something about checking his clock.

The streets are crammed, so it took them about fifteen minutes to reach the restaurant—and when Tenn looks up, he becomes apprehensive.

He sees, through the windows, well-dressed waiters, with white shirts and a tie around their neck, and well-dressed patrons. Riku's and his outfits are going to stand out, as they are too casual. (Izumi may stand out, but more because he's the only one who thought of putting classy clothes for their date.)

Tenn fights against the urge to hide behind Riku's back, because he's the oldest sibling so he shouldn't.

Izumi looks surprised.

"Isn't this that place serving meals from all around the world? I heard they change their menu every month."

Riku nods. "Yup! They have a Christmas menu, for now, I heard it's delicious!"

Izumi squints. "Who told you about the place?"

"Sougo-san!"

"Riku-san, you know, Sougo-san is rich." So, Izumi is as concerned as Tenn.

"Iori, he brings Tamaki-kun to restaurants every Friday, and you know how Tamaki-kun is. He won't let Sougo-san pay for his lunch. I think Sougo-san knows cheap places too."

Izumi seems half-convinced when he replies: "Fine. Anyway, you booked a table, so it would be rude not to go."

All the while, Tenn hasn't talked at all.

Fortunately, their outfit is no problem: as they go into the restaurant, a waiter gives them a warm welcome and guides them to their table. Most of the tables are occupied by couples, so Tenn believes they still stand out a bit.

As he looks at the menu, he notices several meals he doesn't know. For instance, there's this _lechon_ belly, described as a stuffed roasted pork belly with brown sauce, with a small Filipino flag next to it. Tenn decides to try it out. There's even fried chicken for patrons who aren't attracted by the fine meals, but it would be a shame to choose that.

(The prices seem okay, too. Not exactly cheap, but the right price if you want to impress your date without spending a fortune. Osaka knows what he's doing.)

Tenn fiddles with the LED tinsel lying on the table while waiting for their order. The decoration was done with taste: all in gold and silver, with hints of black and specks. The napkins are folded into Christmas trees, and a few baubles hang from the lamp above them. All of this looks classy and simple.

"It's a nice place," he whispers, and Izumi, who is next to him, nods.

"I managed to book one of the last tables thanks to Sougo-san," Riku explained. "I couldn't reach them, so he contacted them for me."

Izumi whispers something about _FSC's power_ , which doesn't make sense to Tenn, but he feels he should understand the reference.

Other clients' chats aren't too noisy; they keep their voices down, low enough so that you can hear, if you try to, what must be a Christmas song. Tenn doesn't recognize the language, though, as it's not Japanese nor English.

Across the table, Izumi seems nervous. He often looks at the kitchens' door, and he almost jumps when a waitress brings them drinks and appetizers for the wait. Riku, however, is perfectly comfortable and he's the first to help himself.

Tenn smiles, amused. He remembers what Takanashi told him, and thinks he should share their date when the holidays are over. She was right, after all: Izumi does repress his feelings a lot.

When he finally gets his meal, he understands why some people take pics of their plates. It looks really nice: the belly has a nice colour and was served with a lot of rice.

They try their meals and Riku is the first one to comment, in a very cliché way: "It's delicious!"

Even Izumi sounds convinced when he says: "As tasty as Nii-san's cooking." (Izumi Mitsuki must be an amazing cook if his little brother keeps bragging about his skills. Or maybe he's a brocon.)

The mood has now lightened, as they are both smiling at each other, in a way only close people do, with true fondness in the eye. Tenn smiles, too.

Their conversation derives on the topic of travel, as Riku says he wants to go abroad to which Iori replies he should improve his English before. It shouldn't be too hard, for Tenn, to follow, but he keeps silent while Riku explains why the Nanase don't travel a lot: their parents can't take days off at the same time. As for the Izumi, they have to close their cake shop, so they usually only do so when they need to visit their family.

"It doesn't bother me," Izumi says, "even if I'd like to travel too. But I need a stable financial situation first."

Riku gapes. "Iori, you're really something."

"Not at all, Riku-san. If anything, you don't think enough about the actual planning of a journey."

Riku laughs, not offended at all. "You're not cute at all." He then stands up. "Now if you excuse me, I need to use the bathroom." His eyes are on Tenn for a few seconds, as if he was trying to send a message.

There's a heavy silence at the table after he leaves.

This, Tenn understands, is not shyness. Izumi and he are fully able to chat on their own, they don't need Riku to help them. No, the silence is caused by Riku's absence. The ghost of his brother remains between the two of them, which makes the difference.

This is the problem: when Riku is with them, they let him take control of their conversation. Tenn, especially, as he doesn't want to bother the two of them, as if his own friendship with Izumi held less value than Riku and Izumi's bond. As if the two relationships couldn't coexist.

He clenches his fists, angry at himself.

He keeps telling himself he might annoy them, telling himself Izumi might have better things to do than hanging out with him. He keeps hiding behind Riku for fear of rejection.

So, he will try.

It's not that difficult, he has already done so, right?

"You know, we usually stay home for Christmas. It's the first time I go out for this occasion."

Thankfully, Izumi answers with the same calm as usual: "It's also my first time. I was quite afraid..."

Tenn frowns. "Afraid?"

"If I tell you, you will laugh at me."

"I won't."

But there's something weird in Izumi's voice. He sounds insecure, and Tenn figures that, if Izumi is interested in him as he believes, he has a valid reason to be nervous.

Somehow, it gives him strength.

Izumi raises his head, looking straight in his eye.

"I told Riku-san it would be great to see you for Christmas," he confesses, and Tenn's mind goes blank.

When his brain finally processes what Izumi said, he croaks: "Wait, this was _your_ idea?"

Izumi keeps his head straight, but his pink ears betray his embarrassment. "Technically, it was also Riku-san's. I often see your brother, but you and I don't meet a lot, so I believed it was a great opportunity."

_Riku, please come soon_ , Tenn thinks _. I don't want to make a fool out of myself_. When they're alone, things are always a bit awkward, but now he's so self-conscious he understands why youngsters say _I want to die_. He really gets it.

_No, no, Tenn, you're supposed to fight by yourself_ , he reminds himself. _Besides, even if Christmas is more of a holiday for couples, there's no rule saying friends can't see each other._

"Okay," he blurts out.

"A-Ah, but I wanted to see Riku-san too!" _Thought so._ "So, he decided to take care of everything by himself. And I believed... you would be more comfortable if your brother invited you on my behalf."

Tenn is convinced his face is red and his smile as wide as a banana, he must look so _dumb_.

Of course, Izumi frequently reaches out to him, as a friend. The only thing that changed is that now, Tenn is painfully aware of his feelings for him. Having a crush sucks.

Riku chooses to go back at this very moment, and he bursts out laughing when he sees them. "What happened?" he asks between two shaky breaths. "You look like you were fighting!"

Tenn understands he means something else, but tries not to shame them more than they already did.

Izumi protests and Tenn understands how easy it is to be left out. If he doesn't open his mouth, they will forget about him.

He decides to interrupt them. "Riku, next time, I'll be the one to plan our outing."

"Oh? Why? Did I do something wrong?" Riku asks, sheepish.

Tenn shakes his head. "Not at all. Your plans were wonderful. See my proposition as a way to thank you."

Riku beams. "Yay, I made Tenn-nii happy!"

Tenn grins and turns its attention to Izumi. "See? That's how you take care of my baby brother."

Izumi stares at him—he seems to have recovered, the only trace of his previous embarrassment being a light hue on his neck. "I thought you wouldn't approve of us."

Tenn ignores the dangerous butterflies in his stomach. "Well, maybe I changed my mind. You are worthy of being his friend. However..." His voice turns low and threatening. "Riku, if he ever hurts you, I'll break every single bone in his body."

Riku laughs—as he knows Tenn isn't serious.

Izumi sighs. "I'm really fed up with these brocons."

"Hey!!"

Riku and Tenn both shout at him, because obviously, Izumi is just mean.

 

 

When they leave the restaurant, Tenn feels strangely relaxed and nervous at the same time. It's a weird feeling: he feels great, but is still on his guard when Izumi talks to him.

Their date is coming to an end. As they go home, Tenn walking between his brother and their friend without a complaint (he's proud of himself), he remembers everything that happened during the day. Of course, Riku's plans were simple, nothing out of the ordinary; but he realizes he misses that kind of time. He used to go out more when Gaku didn't own his soba shop; now, however, his older friend is too tired most of the time, and it's really nice of him to invite them to keep in touch.

Tenn is, for once, the one who breaks the silence. "I'm glad I know the two of you," he whispers. The other two stops right in their tracks.

He turns away, noticing their astonished faces. "What?"

Riku is already tearing up. "Tenn-nii, I'm happy too!"

"That was sappy, Nanase-san." Izumi retorts. "I didn't know you were so cheesy. I hope it's not contagious."

Tenn tries his best to keep his composure. "It is. I got it because of Riku. Now it's your turn."

He wants to turn again and to walk away, but instead, he winks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choosing a meal for the restaurant part was one of my worst ideas ever, because I had no idea what to pick. So I asked my beta for one Filipino meal, and that's why Tenn tries lechon belly. I haven't tried it myself but I'm sure it's amazing (we talk a lot about food, with my friends, so I guess I had to hint at our respective countries' cooking one day or another) (I'll definitely write a cliché french restaurant date, maybe not for this ship but I will). As for Riku's and Iori's choices, you can imagine whatever you want. 😉 
> 
> Next chapter will be the last one! I'll likely update this fic in July as I still have exams and I can't follow my initial outline anymore. (lmao)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was supposed to write something for the twins' birthday but i wasn't inspired and i want to finish some long oneshots so i guess this is my gift? happy birthday to riku and tenn, i'm sorry but the few lines about your relationship are so sad  
> i feel second hand embarrassment omg

Tenn’s last joke turns out to be ominous, as he spends the last days of December, too sick to get out of his bed.

Riku too isn’t feeling that well, and after he complained about his sore throat for the third time in the week, Tenn decides to ban him from his room. He calls Izumi and begs him to keep his brother busy while he is bedridden. His friend agrees quite easily; they both worry about Riku catching his illness. At least the contagion risk is lowered that way. When he’s at home, Riku spends most of his time downstairs, only going into their room to sleep. It’s better that way.

Tenn feels lonely.

Gaku and Ryuu pay him a visit one afternoon when Ryuu has a leave. They tease him, claiming his illness tamed him – and it’s true his tongue isn’t as sharp as usual -, and it’s annoying. But when they leave, the same hollowness comes back.

He tries his best to occupy his mind, reading some books Riku recommended him when he can focus, absent-mindedly browsing his phone otherwise, listening to his favourite songs – to no avail, he's still distracted by his emotions. How can you ignore your own feelings, anyway?

Izumi sends him a message every evening, and Tenn replies as soon as he hears the ting of the notification. Izumi tells him about his day with Riku, checks up on his health and then leaves him alone, as he doesn’t want to bother him. Tenn wishes he did.

He wants to be bothered, wants to listen to Izumi’s voice so badly – and he’s not used to this longing. He never understood what liking someone means; never thought he would miss small stuff, like the sound of his voice, or the light hue on Izumi's cheeks when he gets embarrassed, or the way his eyes soften when he sees one of those cute plushies whose name Tenn forgot. He even misses Izumi’s sighs when he’s fed up with the twins and tries to keep it to himself.

But Izumi doesn’t call, and Tenn is too tired to find the energy to do it himself. So he curls up under his blanket, his mind full of thoughts of him.

 

 

Tenn sleeps through New Year’s Eve, waking up in the morning with the hint of a headache and a dry throat. Still, his health is way better now, though he has to decline when Riku asks him if he wishes to meet with the other members of the club for the first shrine visit. He wouldn’t want to catch a cold when he’s still recovering.

"Then I’ll bring you something", Riku promises before leaving.

Tenn watches him go with a pang in his stomach – realizing this is the first time Riku will do this visit, and he won’t be there.

As their parents decided to visit their relatives, Tenn is all alone in his house. He turns his music on and sits at his desk, determined to finish his homework today – he still has to review his lessons for his finals. He doesn’t mind studying, but he’s still a bit drowsy, so he tries to resist as much as he can, as he spent the last days sleeping.

But he still nods off, and he’s woken up by the sound of the door creaking in his back. He doesn’t move. He only asks, over the music: "What time is it?"

"3 pm", answers a voice that doesn’t belong to his brother’s.

Tenn jumps, almost falling from his chair. Why is Izumi Iori in his bedroom?

When he’s still recovering?

When he’s wearing comfortable but plain clothes that must smell of sweat and don’t exactly look good on him?

But more importantly: "How did you come in?"

Izumi waves at the stairs. "Riku-san was worried about you and wanted to go home early. I asked him if we could come along and see how you’re doing. I’m sorry if I startled you, I know it was rude of me to go upstairs alone, but Riku is preparing tea, so he told me to go ahead and check on you." A smile blooms on his face as he adds: "You look better now."

Not really, Tenn thinks; he’s still too pale, he hasn’t taken a shower yet, and he’s sleepy. But he nods anyhow.

He hears steps coming from the stairs, too many steps for only one person, and something clicks in his mind. "Wait, did you say _we_?"

Izumi has a smug look on his face when he says: "You’re also a member of our club, you know?"

Tenn has his eyes wide open when he sees Riku entering the bedroom with five familiar guys. He isn’t prepared for this.

Not because he dislikes them – sure, they aren’t the best of friends, but he does think highly of them. Nikaido is a bit of a drunkard, Osaka sometimes acts like a rich heir, Yotsuba lacks manner, Rokuya is a huge otaku and Izumi Mitsuki – ah, well, he at least is a nice guy, and Tenn doesn’t say that because he’s his crush brother. But even if they have their flaws, who doesn’t? They’re hardworking and supportive people. Of course he approves of them.

However, he isn’t certain they actually like him. He’s always harsh on them, pointing out at every mistake they make, so he never believed they would enjoy his company. Yet here they are, in his room – all of them going inside with only a "Hi!", except for the older Izumi and Osaka who both take their time to properly greet him.

And now Tenn is thankful to his morning self for taking the time to put clothes on.

He realizes something as he watches them taking a place in the room: Riku must invite them when his brother isn’t home. They all avoid his corner out of habit. The older Izumi and Rokuya sit next to each other on Riku’s bed; Yotsuba slumps on the floor with Nikaido, and Osaka takes Riku’s desk chair. It doesn’t feel out of place, as if it was natural for all of them to gather in the small room. Now that he thinks about it, he never invited his own friends. They are older than him, so he has always found it weird to suggest to hang out like teenagers at his home. Maybe he should do so, however. It sounds nice.

Izumi stands right next to him, leaning on his desk, with the same smirk on his face.

"How are you doing, Nanase-san?" Osaka asks. The others look at him, too, their eyes filled with concern and care.

Tenn runs his hand through his hand in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "I’m fine, thank you for asking. Still a bit tired, but I should be okay in no time."

"That’s great", Nikaido says. "We’ve brought you stuff, but we left them in the kitchen."

"Thank you", he repeats, his voice unusually soft and shy.

It’s weird, because when he sees them, they’re at the club and he always ends up scolding them. He was sure they would resent him for that, maybe fear him. But no, they all are sincerely worried about his health. So Tenn is at loss with words.

There’s a lull in the conversation, and Tenn realizes his music player is still on.

"Hm… do you want me to stop the music?"

"No, I like it", the older Izumi says. And he’s not the same, as Yotsuba and Rokuya approve too. So Tenn nods, and then sends a pleading glance at Riku. _They’re your friends, please say something_. He is ready to make efforts and socialize, really. But Izumi is right next to him, it’s distracting and did he mention he was still too tired to deal with all this?

Riku goes through his pocket and hands him a small light pink rectangle. When Tenn takes the amulet, he notices _Great protection_ is embroidered on it. The silk of the amulet is soft against his palm.

"Thank you, Riku", he says, for the third time already – will he ever be able to say something else?

"We all got one!" Riku explains. "Look, mine’s red, like my hair! You always bought me one when we were younger, so now it’s my turn!"

"Nanase-san, you’re sooo nice", Rokuya says, surprising Tenn. "Riku told us the whole story of your life. It was very moving! Mitsuki was crying!"

"I was not!" Mitsuki shouts, grabbing Riku’s pillow and throwing it at the blonde. "I told you, it was the wind!"

"Nii-san’s eyes are very sensitive", Izumi adds. "This being said, please, nii-san, don’t start a pillow fight. You’ll inconvenience Nanase-san."

The intent gaze they all fix on Izumi makes him blush – and Tenn wonders if it means what he hopes it means. "I-I mean", Izumi stammers, "he’s still recovering? We… we should let him rest. "

"He said he’s fine, though", Yotsuba points out. "You are, right, Tenten?"

"I am", Tenn answers. "But what’s with the nickname?"

"Tenten..." Riku tries his best not to laugh, and not even his brother’s dark look stops him from giggling. "Tenten! I love it, Tamaki!"

"It sounds like a name for a pet", Izumi whispers, so low only Tenn hears. Now this is getting awkward… but if Riku likes it, what can he do? "It’s fine, it’s not like Yotsuba will change it anyway. I’d rather hear about your visit, Riku."

He wished he could have seen his brother’s delighted face, finally able to act like a normal person. Tenn understands how lonely he must have felt. Tenn always told him about the things he did but now that their roles are reserved and he listens to Riku, he realizes how painful it is.

Because it’s not the same when you’re not there, just like hearing Riku talking about his lessons at uni is different from spending the day in the same classroom. But he knows it’s bound to happen. Twins often have a closer relationship than other siblings, and Riku’s asthma drew them even closer. Getting different friends, choosing different majors, having separate future plans – all of these are natural. It doesn’t mean they love each other less, of course. Riku will always be special to Tenn, and Tenn getting a boyfriend (hypothetically speaking) wouldn’t change their connection. If anything, it would be more difficult for said boyfriend, as he would have to compromise and understand how close the twins are.

That’s what it means, to become an adult – to build your own life, trying to act by yourself, without constantly thinking of your twin, and still letting them a special place in your heart.

Riku can’t tell his story without being interrupted by one of his friends, who are correcting something or making a comment about what Riku just said. The only one who stays quiet is Izumi.

Tenn knows it’s okay if he wasn’t there.

"Seems like you’re in good hands, Riku", he whispers, and then gets up. "I’ll make tea again."

Riku’s friends are whispering when he leaves the room. Not that he cares. He needs time before letting them getting close to him, but he thinks this is a good start.  
 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

Winter break is over and, as expected, Tenn is overwhelmed with work.

Riku doesn’t fare better, and they almost don’t see one another for a week. Riku and Izumi work on an assignment together, and they tacitly decided that having Izumi over would be counterproductive for the three of them. The only time they spend with each other is during the club, which isn’t very satisfying.

After a week, their workload decreases, and that’s when Riku asks his brother if he wants to come along and go shopping.

"I don’t have anything to buy", Tenn answers. He doesn’t want to go out: today, the weather is quite chilly, so it would be best for Riku to rest at home. He almost had an attack two days ago because of the cold air. "Do you really need to go now? It’s going to be warmer next week."

"No, Tenn-nii, that won’t do. Today is the only day we won’t bump into Iori, he’s helping at his parents’ shop." Riku’s face is malicious when he says, "Now is the best time to buy him his birthday present!"

"Birthday…?" He should have figured it out sooner. Riku and Tenn met Izumi in April, and while Tenn wasn’t exactly close to all of the club members, he congratulated each of them on their birthdays. However, Izumi’s turn never came, meaning he was born during the first three months of the year.

"When is it? " he asks, suddenly nervous at the idea of celebrating his crush’s birthday.

"On the 25th. We do have a bit of time if we don’t find something today, if needed."

Tenn sighs. His hands are trembling from the mere thought of buying Izumi something. Now, even if he wanted to get some work done, he wouldn’t. His stupid mind is so fixed on their friend he can’t concentrate anymore.

"Fine", he yields. "Let me take my coat, then."

 

 

"Any idea for a gift, Tenn-nii?" Riku asks, almost teasing as he leans over his twin.

Tenn has none, of course. He doesn’t want his gift to be bland or conventional, it would be meaningless. No way. He needs to get his crush something he will enjoy, something that screams his affection for him, but without being overwhelming. Tenn doesn’t want to be pushy.  It’s easy to say, but as he looks at the stores they’re passing through, he starts to wonder if he shouldn’t settle for a simple present after all.

No, that won’t do.

"What do you plan to buy, Riku?" he asks, trying to at least have an idea of what he shouldn’t buy.

Riku looks thoughtful. "Stationery, of course, but I wonder what exactly, since he has so many notebooks. Ah, but his pen is old and wasted, so maybe I’ll look for one."

When Riku says "a pen", he doesn’t mean one of the plastic types that can be purchased for a small price at any stationery store. He talks about the metallic ones that look beautiful and very adult and cost more than a date. Tenn figures would really enjoy that kind of gift: it suits his image, sharp and clever.

He still has no clue what to do.

"I don’t know what would be appropriate to give him”, he confesses, fiddling with his fingers. "Because, you know, we haven’t been friends for long, but I want to show him how much I care about him."

He doesn’t plan on confessing, of course, but he believes Izumi is interested in him. It would mean he is, too.

Riku nods. "I get it. I could give you an idea, but he would kill me if he learnt I told you about his secret weakness."

"Secret weakness? " Tenn frowns. Is there something Izumi would like, but wouldn't be comfortable enough to admit liking?

Riku lowers his tone. "I really can’t tell you. But you know, Tenn-nii, a present you choose yourself would please him more than any of my suggestions. That’s the whole point of a gift, it should be personal."

That doesn’t help him a lot, actually. "Well, I’ll try to find something. Thanks for the advice, Riku."

"You’re welcome! Ah, I’m going to this store, maybe we should split up?"

Tenn ends up alone in the mall.

He has a vague idea of what he can do. He needs something that would be appropriate for a friend slash potential boyfriend (he wants to play by the rules), but that would show Izumi how well he knows him (because he still wants to impress him).

He should focus on the first point, he thinks.

So he messages his friends.

_> Tenn: What present would you give to your crush?_

He doesn’t need to wait long until the first reply pops up.

_> Gaku: Jewels, clothes, flowers, chocolates… that sort of thing_

_> Gaku: but it’s for Izumi, right, so forget about the flowers_

_> Gaku: Accessories would be a great idea. Imagine him wearing something you chose for him_

Okay, so maybe Gaku is annoying, and maybe he's thinking of Takanashi right now and he's just a pervert, but he's actually right and Tenn doesn’t want to admit he finds his idea tempting.

Just imagining it...

_> Tenn: You impress me, Gaku. I never thought you could be of help._

His answer is almost immediate.

_> Gaku: Shut your mouth, kid_

Half an hour later, Tenn is in a jewellery shop, wondering if he’s making the right choice.

Izumi often wears silver chains with various pendants, though his favourite seems to be a double flat now. Would he actually wear a necklace from Tenn, he doesn’t know, but it’s not like he has a better idea now. Silver necklaces aren’t too expensive, but still classy.

The store doesn’t offer a lot of choices for men’s pendants, yet it’s already hard for him to pick one model. Most of them don’t really suit Izumi: too bland, too typically masculine – but Izumi is different, so he wants something else.

Then something catches his attention.

It’s not a common pendant, nor is it that rare. Tenn never saw anyone wearing this one, and he can’t say it has a special meaning – but still, it kind of has one in his eyes.

He refrains himself from asking for his friends’ opinion; he should make his own decision. So he buys it on a whim. When he meets with Riku, he refuses to show him the gift, only telling him what it looks like.

"Nice, Tenn-nii. I’m sure Iori will like it."  
 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

Tenn sends a happy birthday message to Izumi before leaving home.

When he is on the bus, he types another one, his heart racing, and his fingers tremble over the screen so much he needs to correct a few typos.

_> Tenn: So I know the club is throwing a party for you tonight, but are you free for lunch?_

He hit the "send" button and waits for two minutes before receiving a reply. A wave of relief washes over him as he reads:

_> Izumi: Thank you, Nanase-san. It would be my pleasure. When do we meet?_

They agree to meet around noon, when Tenn is over with his morning lectures. Now he feels a lot better, even if a small pang of anxiety still throbs inside him.

It’s hard to focus on his lectures when he thinks of Izumi. The gift is in his bag, in one of the pockets, and he refrains himself from checking he hasn’t forgotten it at home – which is ridiculous, since he already checked before entering the room. What if Izumi doesn’t like it? What if he finds it weird? Of course, if he dislikes the present, it’s okay, and yet. Riku said he would be pleased, but Riku might be wrong, too.

Tenn can’t concentrate and he only took a few notes. He almost runs out when the lecture is over.

Izumi is already standing at the front of the building. His cheeks are red from waiting for a while, or from walking a lot, who knows. However, as he spent the morning at the library, it is more likely he decided to meet Tenn a little sooner than expected.

Tenn tries to hide his excitement as he joins him. "Happy birthday, Izumi! " he says again. "Sorry if I’m late. I left as soon as the lecture was over."

"Don’t worry, Nanase-san. Do you need to buy something to eat? I have my own bento."

"From your brother?"

Izumi nods.

"Lucky you, then. Let me just grab food at the cafeteria."

Twenty minutes later, they’re sitting beside each other in a deserted hallway – not the best place to celebrate a birthday, but Izumi comes here often to eat, so Tenn was curious about the place.

Izumi’s bento was made by a pro, and it shows. Tenn never saw such a cute rabbit made with food – and Izumi tries to play it cool, but his blush gives him off: he's proud of his brother.

"Nii-san likes doing that kind of stuff." Tenn is 100% sure they both like "that kind of stuff" but doesn't point it out.

"He outdid himself", Tenn says, before staring down miserably at the bread he bought. "Haha, now I’m jealous."

"Do you want to share, Nanase-san?"

He doesn’t sound annoyed and his offer must be sincere, but Tenn still refuses. "No, it’s your day, Izumi. You can have it all for yourself."

"Okay, but I’ll ask nii-san if he can make you one, if you wish", Izumi says. "If we agree on a date, that is."

Tenn nods. He’s not that hungry because of the butterflies in his stomach, and he believes he will have the same problem next time, so it would be a shame to try Izumi Mitsuki’s cooking in that condition, but… "Thank you, then. It'd be great"

Izumi tells him his family already gave him his presents after he got up, and Tenn tries to pry. But the younger boy refuses to tell him what he received – it must have been something cute and fluffy, like a plushie, so Tenn drops the subject quickly and asks instead: "Do you want my gift right now?"

Izumi frowns. "Sure, but shouldn’t you wait for tonight?"

Tenn fiddles with the plastic of the bread. He can’t tell him he wants to give it so that Izumi can wear it for the party. If he wants. If he likes it. "Well, yes, but I’d be more at ease if I could give it to you now."

(I. e. without the others staring at him.)

Izumi holds out his hand, and Tenn gets the gift from the bad. He drops the small packet in Izumi’s hand and gestures him to open it.

Izumi complies and, when he discovers the silver necklace with a compass pendant, he has a wide smile. "Ah, I get it. This is a fine present, Nanase-san."

Tenn lets out a breath. "I’m sorry if it doesn’t suit your tastes–"

"It does. Don't worry." Izumi puts the chain on, letting the pendant rest on his blue jersey. "Thank you very much, Nanase-san. I’ll treasure it."

Tenn stares at the necklace. The pendant he personally chose for Izumi. The chain that now kisses his skin and –

He’s doomed.

"Nanase-san?"

"You’re beautiful", he croaks, not realizing what he’s saying.

He doesn’t have the time to correct himself – and even if he could, what would he say? – as Izumi says:

"Nanase-san, I might get the wrong idea, but I… believe we should clear something right now."

Tenn can’t find his voice, so he only nods.

"It… does feel like you have a crush on me."

Tenn’s blood runs cold. It’s one thing if his feelings are obvious, he can live with that, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. People fall for each other all the time. And even if Izumi notices, he doesn’t mind. But when he puts it into words… somehow, it’s as if he is breaking a tacit agreement he wasn’t conscious they had.

So Tenn doesn’t answer. He only gazes at him with fear, his hand clutching his water bottle so tightly it cracks.

"Wait, no, that’s not what I wanted to say", Izumi corrects himself. He looks determined at this very moment, strong and brave, and Tenn never felt afraid of him before, but now he does. "I’m just getting my hopes up. Actually, I’m the one with the crush on you, Nanase-san."

Tenn puts the bottle down.

This… isn’t what he expected at all.

First of all, he figured he would be the one to confess. Because Izumi had already done enough, so it was his turn. And he was almost ready. Almost. All he needed was a bit more time.

Yet it seems Izumi fully accepted his own feelings before Tenn did.

"I know it’s a bad idea to confess on someone’s birthday", Izumi says. "I mean, if you’re rejected, you’ll be upset for the rest of the day, and if you ever break up, you’ll have to remember your own birthday as your former anniversary. Worst feeling ever." Izumi lowers his head. "But I- I can’t postpone this anymore. Not when you ask me out for lunch and give me such a present. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you."

Tenn stares at him. Worrying about the date and the possibility of a separation while confessing is… something only Izumi would do. He finds it endearing. Izumi won’t promise him anything he can’t give. He won’t promise they’ll be together until death tears them apart, or that he’ll always like him. Sure, it isn’t the most romantic way to ask someone out, and it might not be the best moment either, but Tenn understands Izumi is serious about him and doesn’t want to mislead him.

He breathes in, slowly, carefully. He has no doubt about his answer, yet it is hard to tell it. Even though he knows Izumi likes him too.

"Then… all we have to do is, not to break up, right?"

Izumi looks at him. "Does that mean–"

"Yes", Tenn cuts him, as he feels he has to say it right now or he’ll lose his courage. "I like you too, Izumi."

There’s a slight pause, and they both observe one another, almost not believing what is happening. Tenn feels dazed.

"Then... do... do we...?", Izumi stutters, his composure falling apart as he understands what Tenn means.

"We... don't have to change anything if you're not comfortable with me", Tenn carefully suggests. He doesn’t want to be only friends with Izumi, now that they both confessed. But it’s true they haven’t known each other for that long, and they have been talking for a few months only. They still have a lot to discover about each other and if… if a relationship is too early, then he can wait. He tries to convince himself he wouldn’t be disappointed – not the slightest.

"N-no", Izumi says as he shakes his head. "I... want to date you." His cheeks flush as he realizes what he just said. "Ugh, it really sounds different when you say it aloud…"

"Okay", Tenn cuts him off - because he's as embarrassed as Izumi is. "Let's just... date, then. I'd be happy to."

He's ridiculous, they both are ridiculous, but it feels good. It really does.

Then it dawns on him: they're boyfriends, now. For real.

"I can't believe it was that easy", Izumi adds after a while. "If I knew, I would have confessed sooner."

"I get it", Tenn approves. "Gaku and Ryuu kept telling me I should do it, too, that it was obvious you would say yes. They were right."

Tenn expected, when thinking of reciprocation, that they would fall into each other's arms, or be so overwhelmed with emotion they wouldn't be able to talk at all. But it isn't the case at all. Yes, they are definitely flustered, their cheeks are flushed and they can't maintain eye contact for more than two seconds, but Tenn never felt as lucid before. Even though their thoughts are a whirlwind and their hearts are screaming together, he is at peace. Nervous, but relaxed. He never thought it was possible to experience both at the same time.

Of course, it's still too early for them to act familiar around each other - no matter how much he wants it, Tenn doesn't feel brave enough to hug Izumi, even less kiss him or doing whatever cliché stuff lovers are supposed to do. But it's okay. They have all the time they want, after all.

"You know, I never thought you would like me back", Izumi confesses. "I mean, not before we start talking. You didn’t seem interested in me when I started falling for you."

"When was it?"

"Hm… our first club meeting?"

Tenn gasps. "That early?"

Izumi nods. He is mortified, but there’s still this light of bravery on his face, and he looks invincible. It’s… kind of hot, actually. "Well, when I first saw you, I thought you were cute. Then you opened your mouth, and I realized you were not. I still felt attracted to you. Your tongue is sharp but you have a soft heart, Nanase-san. Your dancing moved me, and I could tell you really cared about your brother from the beginning."

Tenn keeps quiet. He’s not that used to compliments, especially not when coming from his crush. People tend to misjudge him, to only see him as an insensitive guy, kind only on stage, but otherwise not that nice. Ryuu and Gaku were the first ones to break the wall he put between himself and the others; however, Izumi saw right through it and tried to pass it. Even though it was harder for him, as Tenn didn’t let him get close to him as easily as he did with Gaku and Ryuu.

"Then I became friends with Riku-san. I say friends, but I believe our bond is closer to brotherhood than mere friendship. Of course, he can’t replace nii-san, and I can’t replace you, but I know we won’t fall apart even if we were to live far away from each other."

"That’s… beautiful", Tenn says, trying to hide how relieved he is to hear that there was nothing between the two of them. Riku already told him that, but now it feels more real.

"You see the problem", Izumi adds. "How am I supposed to tell my best friend, who has problems with his brother, that I actually have a crush on said brother?"

Right. That was inconsiderate, especially since Riku had a valid reason to be cold with him. Tenn imagines how hard it was for Izumi, torn between the twins. No wonder he tried to reconcile them.

"But Riku knows", Tenn points out.

"Yes, he knows, because I told him." Izumi sighs. "I had to. I couldn’t hide it from him anymore, it was unfair."

"How did he react?"

Tenn figures it wasn’t easy to discover your best friend wasn’t entirely in your camp. Though he knows Izumi would have supported Riku if they had fought, the idea was depressing. What's more, Riku's asthma is a ticking bomb - you never know when he's going to have an attack, or why.

"He was a bit sad", Izumi answers, "but also happy for you."

_Happy for me?_

At that time, Tenn probably didn’t have a crush on Izumi as well, meaning the younger boy’s feelings were unrequited. Yet Riku was happy for his brother (with whom he was arguing) because someone else thought he was lovable.

His younger twin is really too pure for this world.

"He understood."

Again, Izumi nods. "He’s stronger than we think. He never thought our relationship could be a problem, or that I’d prefer you over him. I was quite impressed when he told me he hoped we wouldn’t feel bad about him if we were to date. At first, I believed he was putting on an act, but he was sincere. He truly wanted me to try to win you over. That’s why he gave me your phone number. The rest is history."

If he had to pinpoint the exact moment he started to be attracted to Izumi, Tenn would say there wasn’t exactly one. Izumi was, at first, an interesting guy, but also an unconscious threat, so he can't claim he wasn't curious at all. His own defiance, jealousy, and the thought of Riku and Iori together kept him from thinking about his own feelings. Maybe he already had them, way before Izumi called him the first time, and he didn't notice them.

It's not that easy to explain why you fell in love with someone, and when it does happen.

Does it really matter, though?

All he has to say is that it gradually happened, and you don't need a reason to like someone. You just do.

Tenn extends his hand, shyly, and takes Izumi’s hand. "I’m glad you tried", he whispers. "I want to make this work."

"What do we tell the others?" Izumi asks. "Are you okay with displaying our relationship in front of the club members?"

Tenn understands his hesitation. Most of their friends will be okay with them going out with another guy. Gaku and Ryuu already approved of them. But tonight will be Izumi’s birthday party, and Tenn doesn’t want to leave his new boyfriend’s side for the rest of the day if he doesn’t have to –  unfortunately, he still has lectures in the afternoon, but after that…

"I'll tell Riku before anyone else, but... yes, we can make it official if you want to. It's your birthday, after all." It does make him a bit anxious, but at the same time, he thinks that people who think they have a say in their relationship don't deserve to be friends. Tenn is ready to destroy them if needed.

"If the right timing comes, then. By the way, Nanase-san, can I ask another question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you choose a compass, for the pendant?"

Tenn feels his face heating. "It’s… quite a cheesy reason."

"It’s fine, Nanase-san. This was the most cheesy lunch I’ve ever had. You can tell me."

Why did he recover faster than me? Tenn thinks, more amused than actually bothered by his boyfriend's comeback. "You, um, kind of show me the way back to Riku."

Without surprise, Izumi starts laughing.

"Hey, I told you it was cheesy!" Tenn protests, hiding his face behind his free hand. "Stop making fun of me!"

"I don’t", Izumi says, but he’s grinning. "I only think it’s cute."

"Really? "

"Yes. And I actually like cute things, so take it as a compliment."

Tenn doesn't know how to answer. He wasn't ready for Izumi being so straightforward he would reveal his number one secret. But damn. Now that is proof of trust.

He wants to kiss Izumi, right now.

 

 

Izumi takes out the necklace for practice, but he wears it again during his birthday party. The first one to notice it is his brother.

The party has begun an hour ago, and Izumi already got his presents. Most of the guests are now dancing, but Izumi and Tenn are sitting in a corner. They’re still keeping their distances, not daring to touch each other more than necessary, but anyone would understand how close they are when they lean toward each other, murmuring words only they can hear.

"Oh, I don’t know this pendant, Iori! Who gave you this?"

Izumi clears his throat. "It’s a present from Nanase-san." Izumi Mitsuki’s eyes fall on Tenn, who reminds impassible. "And hm, actually… he gave me another gift, too."

Tenn can’t believe it. How cheesy. Izumi is too shy to blatantly admit they’re dating. How cute.

Mitsuki looks away from Tenn and smiles at his little brother. "What is it?"

Izumi hawks. "We, er… we are… We..."

Tenn sighs. Cute, but useless. "I’m dating your brother", he says, deadpan, still a bit afraid that Izumi Mitsuki would think he doesn’t deserve Iori, but hiding it behind a mask of assurance. "That’s the second gift."

To his surprise, the older Izumi claps his hands. "Wow, congrats, you two! It was about time. I was tired of seeing Iori mooning over you. Take care of him, Nanase."

"I will", Tenn promises.

The first one he told was Riku, for obvious reason. His twin was overjoyed to hear the news, and by no mean jealous. Tenn understands why Izumi was impressed by him. Riku tends to think of himself a lot, as he is used to be pampered, yet he completely forgot about himself, congratulating them with all his hearts. He is growing up and Tenn loves him.

He thinks of the conversation he had in the TRIGGER group chat after he told Riku. He screenshotted it, for it was rare to see Gaku being so kind to him.

_> Tenn: Guess who finally got his man_

_> Gaku: No way_

_> Gaku: You really confessed_

_> Ryuu: Congrats, Tenn!! I'm so happy for you!!_

_> Gaku: Congrats Tenn_

_> Gaku: Just so you know, I'm NOT jealous of you_

_> Gaku: I still think he's out of your league, but you deserve to be happy, you brat_

_> Gaku: So, good for you, and I wish you the best_

When the older Izumi leaves them alone, he murmurs to his new boyfriend: "Care to dance?"  
 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

 

 

Life changes. You can't predict what's going to happen. Your certitudes may be smashed to pieces. Your doubts may be baseless. Some people will leave you, and others will take their place. Sometimes, all of those people are the same, and you just give them another place in your heart.

As he looks at his new life, with a twin brother who finally forgave him, and a new friend who became something more, Tenn realizes that his story might, actually, be worth being told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (long author note but you should read it)
> 
> i can't believe i finished this fic so let me cry for a bit  
> ok i'm proud of myself, thank you daze for making me improve my writing skills and for teaching me not to drop my projects. i now believe in myself and that's weird since i'm always self-deprecating lmao. thank you, dear readers, for seeing things through the end. thank you to everyone who took the time to comment (on ao3 or discord), i swear you're all so nice and supporting, idk how to show my gratitude
> 
> anyway this is NOT the end bc i've planned to write a companion fic from day one and now i have two ideas. the tennio ship won't be the main focus of these two fics so you don't have to read them if you don't want to, but you'll see them a lot so. 😏😏  
> \- the first one will be published next month and you can easily guess what it deals with so i'm not saying. can be read as a sequel btw  
> \- the second one is about what i call "the isumi haruka case". you might have noticed some references to haruka in the first two chapters, that's because of a subplot i didn't put in the main fic to avoid spoilers. (all of my friends are anime only and i want to shield them from spoilers) anyway i'm a big zool oshi and haruka is so inspiring so i couldn't really not write about his relationship with tenn. i'll try my best to avoid spoilers in this one as well but i can't promise you anything.  
> and if you want more tennio (i mean, you wouldn't read this fic if you dislike the ship), you know i'll post more. 
> 
> take care of yourself, and see you again! 😘


End file.
